Tears of a Ranger (Taz/Up Fanfic Sequel to UBU)

Chapter 6

(BTW, this is going to be shorter than UBU, becuase I'm just gonna get past the end of Starship before starting my next story. If this reaches ten chapters, I'll be surprised. Just thought I'd let you know.)

Taz sat in the rec room by a bunch of work out equipment, lifting weights, when Up came in. Great. Taz just continued on like he wasn't there. 

"Specs," he said, "any luck finding a replacement for warping crystals?"

"That task has proved problematic, sir," Specs explained. "I seems that various systems on the ship are being overridden."

Taz couldn't take it anymore. "Overridden? Where the hell is Junior? He's supposed to be supervising the ship!"

The doors opened and Bug and February fell through, panting. "Everyone!" Bug said, causing Krayonder, Specs, Taz, and Up to pay attention. "There's something we need to tell you!"

"It's Junior!" February interrupted. "He's a d**k!" 

Everyone gasped, "What?"

Bug nodded. "It's true. He's been lying to everyone all along. He knew about my crashed Starship, he knew everything about the Bug World, and he even wanted February to get captured."

Taz couldn't believe this, but kept listening as February continued. "Yeah! The Galactic League of Extra-Terrestrial Exploration wants to capture the bugs, so they can make their own twisted abominations!"

Up stepped forward angrily. "Damn that G.L.E.E! They're always making twisted abominations of everything!" Everyone nodded in agreement.

"And the meanest part about it, is that he hand-picked all of us because he thought we were too stupid to figure it out. Like, he picked you because you're a total pussy," February continued, pointing to Up. She turned to Krayonder. "He picked you because you're completely unstable. And he picked you because you're a four-eyed, poindexter, dweeb-o-rama," she finished her insults with Specs. "And he only wanted me for my body. Not my mind," she said in a pouty voice, pointing to her heart. 

"So," she said, "Junior hand-picked us all because he thinks we're handicapped, huh? Well, I think it's about time we showed Junior just how handy we can be!" 

Taz was sure this is the smartest thing February had ever said. 

A beeping noise came over the intercom. Specs spoke up, saying, "Sir, another pod is docking with the Starship!"

"It's probably that cabrone Junior right now," Taz said. 

"Krayonder," Up said, "prepare to take our friend, Junior, into custody."

"Yes, sir!" Krayonder stood by the door, handcuffs ready. "Alright! You're under arrest, man!" The doors opened and he slapped down the cuffs onto... no one. There was no one there. "Huh?" Krayonder said, stepping in front of the open doorway. 

Suddenly, a giant pink mosquito flew in and jabbed him right in the stomach. Several people screamed. Taz may have been one of them. Another pink on and a blue one followed the first and buzzed around, making them all back away. They then crowded around Krayonder, but when Bug tried to pull February away, to the other side of the room, she was grabbed by a giant claw. Taz looked up to see a giant scorpion, grotesque and the size of a bus, clutching her old roommate in his grasp. 

It began making odd clacking noises, which was to be expected. No, what was really wierd was when Bug began to chatter in the same way. 

Up stepped forward. "Bug, Bug, what are all them googly noises coming out of your mouth? You chatting with this thing?" 

"What's going on, Bug?" Taz asked, trying to get some intel. 

"I'm trying to save February," Bug said, then returned to talking with the scorpion. 

"Bug, what's going on!" February asked, clearly scared, which of course made sense, considering her situation.

Bug looked nervous. "Uh, uh, don't worry, February, we're just... we're negotiating his surrender."

Everyone relaxed visibly at this, but panicked once again when the scorpion roared and made noises even louder and more fearsome than before. After a second of it talking, Bug's shoulders dropped, and he seemed like his world had just ended. 

"Everybody, February," he began, "I'm not who I say I am. Pincer, here, he, uh, he helped me switch bodies, so that I could get to know all of you."

"What?" February asked, clearly confused. Taz was trying to figure out what he was saying.

Bug and February locked eyes, and Taz saw the sadness in his meet the confusion in hers. "February, I'm not a Starship Ranger. I'm not even human. I'm a bug." Taz and Up took a step back. February's mouth dropped and she looked disgusted. "I'm a bug in a human body."

The scorpion, Pincer, started clacking again. Then, out of the blue, the entire ship shook. 

Over the intercom, a robotic voice rang out, "Overload. Complete meltdown imminent. Pray to your dead God, puny humans. Your fiery deaths are inevitable." 

"It's not over yet, man!" Taz looked over to see Krayonder stand up, Zapper loaded. He began shooting the bugs. "Run!" he yelled. "I've got him pinned down like a piece of Arcturian poontag!" 

They ran out the door, the three mosquitoes close behind. Taz didn't look back as she trailed the others, at the back of the group, all darting for a safe place, which they knew they'd never find...