Tears of a Ranger (Taz/Up Fanfic Sequel to UBU)

Chapter 3

They ran several miles. They came into a small clearing and stopped to catch their breath. Krayonder, sadly, was not done freaking out.

He collapsed on the ground, panting heavily. He stood up and began talking, which was how everyone knew he was OK. "Oh, Jesus, Lord! This can't be happening, man! What are we supposed to do now, man?" At this point he was shaking Specs's shoulders. "This is like, game over, man, game over! I'm talking, good-bye, buddy. Hasta luego, dude! Konichiwa, Daniel San! We're finished, it's over!" He finally collapsed on his knees, sobbing.

"Goddammit, Krayonder, shut the hell up!" Specs yelled.

Taz stepped up. "Seriously! Shut up! You're screaming will wake up the bugs!" Estupido idiota.

"Just kill him!" Tootsie said, aiming his gun backwards. As stupid as he was, it was the best idea he'd had all day. Taz and Specs followed his example.

"Woah, woah, woah! Everybody just calm down!" Up said, holding his hands up. They all dropped their zappers to their sides. "I can tell we're all a little bit tightly wound. But if we express ourselves, through 'I feel' statements-" It was too much.

Taz cried out. "Aww, oh! Jou want to know how I feel?"

He smiled. "Well of course I do, Taz."

"I feel like cutting open jour belly, and filling it, with jelly!" she shouted. Specs, Krayonder, and Tootsie gasped.

Up put an arm around her shoulder. "Taz, is something bothering you?"

She shrugged, as if it was nothing. Then turned around and punched him in his estupido face.

"Oh!" Up cried. "Ow! My mug! That hurt!" he said, giving her a pitiful look.

She felt like crying, which she hadn't felt like doing in two years, and the last time before that had been three years ago, the day after her family was killed. Both had happened on the anniversary of her quinceniera, her birthday. Her eighteenth was actually in two weeks. Apparently, this one was early.

"I know it hurt!" she cried out, not caring that the others were watching. "It hurt because jou are soft now! Jou are so soft, you couldn't even handle leaving a robot behind. And now we," she gestured to the rest of the group, "are all dead!" She gave him a mock salute.

He looked close to tears. It broke her heart, but she didn't show it. "Taz, please, stop," he begged. "Now my feelings are hurt, too."

She stepped towards him. "Jou want me to stop?" she asked. He nodded. She motioned towards her face. "Hit me back." He started to shake his head, so she punched him again, then held her hands to her face and yelled, "Hit me back!" He looked up at her from his spot on the ground.

"Jou," she said, pointing to him. "Jou, are a sad, spade little puppy." She followed with some puppy noises. "And the old Up, the Up that made me, what I AM! He would have never let this happen. And now I see, I see that Up, he did die in that Robot War." She leaned over him and touched his face. "And I will never get him back." In one swift move she ripped the mustache straight from his face.

Everyone gasped again. "My moustache!" Up said. "You ripped it off! You ripped off my moustache!"

"Si," Taz said, setting the moustache on her lip, then pointing to herself. "I am in charge of this mission now! So anybody who wants to live, jou come with me." Without a backwards glance at Up, she began to walk away, and heard the sounds of the other three follow her.

They hadn't gotten twenty feet when she heard him following. "Everybody, wait up!" he cried. "Everybody, wait! We gotta stick together!"

Up ran straight into thier group and suddenly they found themselves tangled in a big mass of... stuff. "What the-" Taz said, trailing off and looking around.

"It's a web, man!" Krayonder called out. In any other circumstance, Taz would be impressed that Krayonder notice this before her, but the situation was a bit too serious.

"We appear to be stuck!" Specs said. They all tried to pull away, then after a few seconds gave up.

"Well," Up said. "At least we stuck together."

Everybody groaned and sighed. Suddenly they heard a noise. They all turned towards it. It was a giant araña. One of the few things Taz was truly afraid of. Yes, she knew it was stupid. Nearly eighteen, the youngest and only female to ever train in the combat league at the Academy, yet here she was, scared of spiders. But it was an impossible fear to shake, seeing as she'd had it since age three. And it was no better when the spider was the size of a hippopotamus and about to eat you.

"Feliz Navidad!" she cried out. It was something her father had done before he died, when he wanted to swear but was trying to set a good example for her and Tacito. She found herself doing it every once in a while.

"It's a spider!" Krayonder yelled. "It's really over, man!"

"God, if you can find it in your zombie heart to let us live, I'd give you my brains to eat!" Tootsie yelled. Well, that wouldn't be giving much, now would it?

They heard a second noise join the first. Another spider, come to join in a tasty meal? Taz prepared to feel pincers digging into her flesh at any second, but it never came. Suddenly she felt the web falling away as the spider chewed it off. She stepped away with a shudder.

"It didn't eat us!" Up said. "It let us go!"

"We're saved!" Krayonder yelled. "Thank dead God man! I thought I was gonna die a virgin!"

Specs nodded and pushed her glasses up her nose. "Me, too."

"Me, too!" Tootsie yelled, sounding much too happy.

"Me, too," Taz said.

"Yeah, me, too," Up said, dejectedly.

"But, wait! Who saved us?" Krayonder asked.

"It was me!"