Silent Love [Watty Awards 2013 Finalist]

Chapter 16

I stared at the words on the paper. It wasn’t neatly written but I could read it. It was the sweetest thing I have ever received. I didn’t know how to respond to it, I just stared for a few minutes. Probably doesn’t help that I looked like a freak staring at a paper, mesmerized by the words on the page. But I decided to read it again, for I loved those words:

 Dear Taylor,

  I had to write this, to go through everything I did, to tell you one thing. No matter how hard I tried to tell you in person, I stutter and shut down.

 Sometimes I debated, should I say it, should I not… And its goes on forever that way, me inside my head, getting mentally frustrated. But I couldn’t live without at least telling you.

 I haven’t known you long, and to start, we aren’t even that great of friends. But every day I see you walking through the hallways, I say to myself I have to get to know this girl. 

I may have been stupid, I may have been foolish but I did it because I wanted you. I want you so much it hurts, and the fact that I can’t have you is killing me.

 See, Tay, your silence is mesmerizing. I haven’t met anyone where the silence is awkward, but with you silence is golden. It really is, and I love it. I don’t need to the other person talk, sometimes I need them to listen. And you’ve done just that for me.

 I wish in a perfect world, I never had to go through with this that you’d just be mine, but this world isn’t perfect; I’m not perfect. But I hope that with what I have you’ll want me in the way that I want you.

 Taylor, you are the prettiest girl I have ever seen, in my seventeen years of life, and I can’t get you out of my head. I love looking at you and staring into the deep blue eyes of yours.

 Alright this is getting awkward, and mushy.

 But I do have a point.

 I guess I’ll get to that now. 

Life has been changing so much for me. I know its senior year, and it’s supposed be fun. But my year hasn’t had much excitement until I saw you.

 Your dancing, your dreams and your aspirations; I love them. The day you read that sonnet in class that was the day I completely fell for you. I know you have your past and you have your reasons. But I don’t care, you’ll get over the obstacles, and I would even help—if that’s what you want.

 But when you read the last line in that sonnet, it seemed you laid your heart on the line:

 ‘I was my own person. I could do what I want. I could play soccer again. I could still dance. The decision was mine and mine alone. 

 I could and I would live for me. 

So I changed the motto. It’s still ‘Dream, Believe, Achieve.’ But I don’t dance by it; I live by it. By any means necessary.’ 

That was when I realized I wanted someone like you. And my player days were over; I’d give them up just for a chance to be with you.

 I didn’t know that someone would be so hard to figure out. You were like a puzzle, and day by day, I’d put a piece together.

 What I’m trying to say is I’d really like to try and finish that puzzle.

 I don’t know if it makes any sense; if I make any sense.

 Well what I am trying to say is, Taylor, I really like you. And I don’t know what I would do with myself if I didn’t have the chance of knowing you better. 

I hope you give me the chance. 

Please?

This wasn’t happening, it wasn’t real. I couldn’t believe it, and as I stepped towards him, I was waiting for myself to wake up. This had to be a dream. But it wasn’t. For a few minutes, I just stood there staring into his eyes, with him gazing right back. I was shocked to my core, I couldn’t believe he had done all of this for me.

 He stepped towards me, still frozen with surprise and he just leaned in. He was close so incredibly close, that I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted his lips on mine; I wanted to feel how soft they really were. I couldn’t take it anymore; I closed the gap and kissed him.

 It was slow and sweet and I loved it. I wanted to stay right here in this moment and ever have it end. He bent down lower so I wouldn’t have to tip toe to reach him, my hands gripping his neck so I wouldn’t slip. He gripped my hips, pulling me closer to him as he grazed his tongue across my lips begging for entrance. I didn’t give it to hi, teasing him for a moment, until I couldn’t fight anymore. We stayed there for so long, making out, and I couldn’t breathe. I broke away, resting my forehead against his, breathing hard. 

I was grinning ridiculously wide, excited and happy that finally someone understood me. Someone understood that even though I don’t speak, communication isn’t hard. You just take one look and it’s there.

  I wanted to say something, to tell him how much I loved what he did for me. But the words were stuck in my throat. No matter how hard I tried to tell him, it was like I had barrier to my voice.

 “It’s ok, I understand,” He said. For some reason he understood it all. I didn’t have to tell him that I was over the moon about what he did, he understood I was. And that’s why I liked him. Maybe I didn’t notice it before, maybe I did. But he was always there. 

“Taylor, would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?” He asked.

I wanted to say it, I wanted to answer him. I didn’t want to nod or shake my head. I didn’t want him to read my emotions and interpret what I was going to say. I wanted him to know what I was about to say.

 I shifted my gaze to the water, and I stared at it. The water held all my fears and all my doubts. The water was the reason I couldn’t talk. And just like that it came back to me, like a lost puppy returning home.

 As I stared into the water, thoughts of my past returning to me, I realized I had it all wrong. The dream I constantly had about my father and brother were wrong. I had always believed my brother couldn’t live without me, but it was clear as day he could. He left with Father. He didn’t need me. He didn’t want me. And so I didn’t want him. I knew what I wanted and I was going to get it.

 I turned to Shane, staring into his eyes once again. I leaned in and pecked him on the lips, and braced myself to answer him. I was going to do it, my voice would prevail.

  He look of understanding helped my through it all. He stared at me, and repeated once again, “Taylor, would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?” 

 I looked up at him, right into his eyes, and opened my mouth to answer.

 . . .

AN: I know you hate me. Cliffhangers suck. But that's all i had, and look i updated on time! That deserves a vote and comment and a fan.! Thanks guys for reading and sticking with me through hard times and what not. I have a competition in a few minutes, so i got to go. Ill reply to all comments when i finish.

Thanks,

Twist