Guessing Sparkles (WA 2013)

Bitter Regrets

"I live in a world full of people pretending to be something they're not. But when I talk to you, I'm the guy I want to be." - Austin Ames, A Cinderella Story

Chapter Twenty-Five: Bitter Regrets

 I wasn't able to speak. Well, not because I had no idea what she was talking about. As a matter of fact, I knew everything about the wish because I was the one who wrote it. That was my lame idea of revenge against the man who used to love me before. The guy who promised he will be me with me. But at the end of the day, I found out that he was just one of the guys who will walk into my life and will leave me eventually with a broken heart. And the sad part about it wasn't him leaving me. It was me believing that I will be happy. Perhaps, the reason why I was speechless was mainly because I didn't expect that wish to happen. As far as I could remember, it has been a long time ago since I wrote that entry on the whimsical diary Mr. Elvis gave me. Even though I had figured out that the wish will be granted eventually, I just didn't expect that it will happen five years later right after my death. However, I wasn't happy that it came true. In fact, I was never happy about it from the very start. But just when I decided to get rid off of the entry, reality hit me back. And reality said that I couldn't take my wish back. That I just had to face it and watch Matthew fall into pieces because that was what I wrote down. It was what I wanted before when my heart was still bitter about the break-up thing.

 But when Peter came in my life, that was when things started to change for good. At first I still wasn't able to move on and fully forget the hurt my break-up with Matthew had caused me. Little by little, Peter taught me how to smile again and appreciate all the blessings I have in my life. He gave me a new hope that somehow things will get better for me. That I deserved the happiness in my life too. Peter helped me pick up the broken pieces of myself on the ground. He didn't give up on me even though he had the chance to do that in the first place. Surprisingly, I found a hero in him. Back then, I used to think that popular guys like him were just plain douchebags and were good for nothing. But I was wrong for thinking that Peter was like that. He was different—so much different in a good way. Peter has a heart. A heart that most royals probably doesn't have. 

 Now, don't get me wrong, I didn't say royals doesn't have a heart. I just said that not all of them were willing to love a person for who he/she was. That even though they were smiling in front of the many people who were dying to hug them—they were still weren't true people. Peter was an exception to that. He didn't care what people would think about him. All that mattered in his life was that, he did the things that could make his heart happy. And I guess, that was the most important thing to do. We should be happy no matter what. That even though life showed us a thousand reasons not to smile—we'll still look for that one percent who would tell us not to follow and do what makes us happy. 

And that brought me back to the wish I made again. How could I be completely happy knowing that my sister won't get her own happiness? That was just plain selfish. And if only I could do something to change their fate, I would do that in a heartbeat. But then again, it was too late to think of changing the things that already happened. It will just ruin what fate planned. This thing won't happen if I hadn't wish for it in the first place. I should have just listened to Mr. Elvis and told myself to be careful with what I wish for. And I should have thought about all the consequences that will happen once the wish came true. Sadly, I didn't do any of those. I just followed what I wanted that moment and came up with the most horrible wish ever. As much as I wanted to take back my word, I just couldn't.

"Where is Matthew?" I said and knelt down beside Katniss. She was still crying, and that broke my heart so bad. "What happened, Marge?"

"Katniss broke up with Matthew because she felt guilty that if she still marry him, it would be unfair for you who wasn't able to have your own happy ending," Marge said and sighed. "Matthew was stunned by her sudden decision. He didn't walk away from her life though."