Chapter 53 Homesick

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Ryes POV
I thought of Bree every second of everyday.. I wouldn't be able to sleep most nights. I was used to sleeping next to a warm body. Her soft, flower smelling hair. Her beautiful face. Now I slept on a bunk bed that wasn't even comfortable. Hundreds of feet down in the earth. (Back where Katniss used to sleep while she was in district 13.)
It was so dark and gloomy down here. But this a haven of history: when mom and dad and all their other friends temporarily lived here.
I was told everything was rebuilt. There was still the hospital there..
I thought of this place interesting since it deals with my parents and their life story.

It had been seven months. Will had called me and told me she was pregnant with a girl. I was extremely happy for her and Oliver. It took away half of the excitement when I remembered I'd have to wait more then a year to see her. But I told them to send me pictures and keep me updated.
Life went by so fast here. For once I felt homesick and it was hard to adjust.
I called Bree every night and I heard her voice. I'd always remember her soft spoken voice, but I wanted to see her. Physically see her face and her body..
Every part of her I missed and everyday that passed I became happier knowing that it would be a day closer to seeing her.

Today I flew with Cade. Still something didn't feel right. It wasn't about Bree or the twins, it was something else.
After Cade and I got off our jets my old commander slapped my back, "We miss you" he smiles. Probably the first smile I've seen from him.
"You smiled! That must mean a lot" I say with a laugh.
He rolls his eyes, "Why did you leave?"
"I'm sure you've heard what happened"
"You mean the fight?" He raises his eyebrow, "I don't blame you for doing what you did. If I was being used id-"
"What? What do you mean used?" I ask. He hesitates to reply. "Commander you got my attention and you will answer me."
He huffs, "Oh Rye so bossy... Anyway, your new commander is--now you can't tell anyone Rye! But he is jealous of you."
"Course I know that but what about the used part?"
"He used you to see how strong you can be.. He wanted to know when you would give up-"
"So everything was an act!?" I ask. He nods, "Pretty much."
I fill with anger, "But why?! You mean all that time--all those days! He humiliated me in front of everyone who was watching! That son of-"
He silences me before I can say anymore, "Does he still?"
I shake my head, "Because he got caught.. But now it's all out of jealousy and hatred. He still gives me the main roles, but you can tell from his harsh glares."
"Hmm.." He thinks. He lays his hand on my shoulder, "Well good work today.. Wish you were still with the Air Force."
I nod slowly, "Commander"
He turns back around, "Yes Mellark?"
"I-- well I.. I don't really know what I'm doing in the marines.."
"You don't?" He questions. I nod, "I've just" I take a long sigh, "Everything's been going wrong ever since I joined.. And even though now I know the commander made it worse.. I feel like he made it worse for me... Like as if it wasn't for me."
He sighs, "That's kinda what he meant to do: make it worse for you."
"Of course" I say harshly.
"But that doesn't mean you cannot stay in the marines. You're stronger then him."
I shake my head, "No, no I'm not.."
"Mellark you have showed me time and time again that you are superior! How can you say that?"
"Yes but he is stubborn and idiotic, whereas you can be grouchy, but you know more and you're far wiser."
He nods, "Yes true.. No one likes him here."
"Fire him!" I suggest. He shakes his head, "We can't... He can't loose his job.. He'll threaten us if we do."
"He threatened me to death if I didn't get it right, and your saying that your scared of him." I snarl.
The commander laughs, "See! That's the Rye I'm talking about--the one that says what he wants and makes sense of things!" He says proudly.
For a second I feel proud for myself until I remember what I should do. I smile, "Thanks, but I just want to come back to the Air Force."
"But I've seen you in the marines!" He shouts, "You're the best one they have! You can't leave."
"I am. I will."
He lays both hands on my shoulders, "Stay! I know it'll be hard on you, but you can never go through life without a challenge.. You even said that it would be best to fly and shoot. That's your best talents. Now don't give up."
I look down, undecided. "All the other men like you don't they?" He asks.
I nod, "They all look up to me--some even call me Alpha Mellark." I say.
"Then you should stay.. If everyone likes you (except your commander) then stay. It's not like he'll try to harm you like last time. He got caught remember?"
I do remember and I guess the he's right, "Thanks" I smile. He smiles, "I'll always be your coach when it comes to flying." With that he walks away leaving me to think about the rest.. But he's right.
Commander Gunner tells us to return to our barracks for tomorrow is going to be a long day of training various recruits, so my buddies and I walk into out sleeping quarters.
I sit on my bed and flip through the book of pictures I put together.. Ones of Bree and then the twins, and then the wedding, and then her smiling face, her taking the twins to work. I sigh and kiss the picture.
Cade, (who's in the bed right across the hallway) pulls out a book of his own pictures, "I miss Iris." He sighs, "You know she's due anytime now."
"Daughter huh?"
He nods, "I wish I could be there!"
"My sister is due in a couple months too.. She's also having a girl"
He shows me a picture of Iris's ultrasound. "She's great" I say faintly getting lost in the thought of Bree and Will when she'll into labor.

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