my very own cliche rant book

test scores

i don't know where my life is going. all i know is that my parents have this over-idealized idea that their daughter is going to get like a freaking near-perfect on her psat/sat, go to some hot shot ivy league college, and become some mindless drone getting $100,000+ a year in some boring cubicle job.

frankly, it's literally like the weight of the world is on me, and no matter what i do, i feel like i'm somehow disappointing my parents. and somehow, my mother thinks that's normal. 

i'm not looking for attention or any sympathy, honestly, i just need to vent. it's just so agitating, that my parents (my mom at least) thinks that my sole purpose in life is just to get a perfect on some standardized test. forget about my personality, friends, or life, just get a perfect. way to teach your daughter a valuable life lesson. 

and then there's my younger brother, who literally gets away with doing anything yet he's still the "angel" of the family. he can spend the entire day playing video games, listening to some obscene rap music, or watching some profane tv show, and hey, he's still innocent. just today, he was rapping some particularly racist lyrics about whipping just like slavery, and when i tried to scold my brother about how terrible a lyric like that is, my mom said that i was "overreacting." 

and meanwhile, i try to take a break for more than one hour, and suddenly i get interrogated about what i'm doing and why i'm not studying. 

sorry, mom, if i'm a failure, but i'd like to think that there's more to a person than a fucking test score.