Touch me Not

6. what's going on?

The day began with a dull throb beneath my temples, making me regret waking up. At least my scalp had stopped hurting. Chris' breathing remained heavy on the other side of the room where he lay with one arm slung above his head. He looked peaceful—content. Even asleep, he appeared happier than ever and for the first time since we'd become friends, I felt a stinging pang of jealousy. I didn't want the feeling—it was sinister and uncalled for. Chris deserved happiness. He deserved Dante.

One thing that ached far worse than my head was the knowledge that I couldn't share everything with him anymore. We had spent hours together during the cold autumn evenings, sharing fears and feelings, but now I wasn't allowed. My tongue was tied, and I had to deal with all of this on my own.

Sighing, I sat up and rubbed my temple. Despite what had happened, I would have to give Gabriel a chance to explain his actions last night. His behavior wasn't acceptable, but perhaps he had a good reason. Also, if I couldn't talk to anyone else, at least I could talk about it with him.

Twenty minutes later, I left the apartment and a sleeping Chris behind. Hopefully, he didn't have an early class that I should have reminded him of. It was selfish of me to leave without a word, but I didn't want to wake him up and let him see my distress—a distress I couldn't explain to him without lying.

I ate alone and trudged to my very first photography class.

The room was packed with students when I arrived, but few of them were talking. I figured that since it was the first class of the year, plenty of them were new or didn't know each other from before. I saw a couple of familiar faces, but no one I had said more than an occasional 'hi' to.

I claimed a seat at the back and tried to relax. It didn't work, especially when the room descended into a thick silence as the teacher entered. His smile swept over the crowd before he settled at the front, placing his leather suitcase on the wide desk. I could see why people had talked about his looks. He was quite striking with his slightly tousled brown hair, marked cheekbones and just the right amount of scruff. He struck me as tall, but I didn't have much of a reference since no one stood beside him. I liked his clothes too—casual but still appropriate for his position. I guessed he was around thirty years old, but it was difficult to tell.

Two girls sitting beside me shared hushed words with each other, but I heard enough to understand what they were talking about. Clearly, I wasn't the only one noting our teacher's appearance. Shaking my head, I focused on the notebook in front of me. Staring at a hot teacher wasn't productive, and it certainly didn't help to ease the storm of thoughts whirling in my brain. It made me think about Gabriel, and for the first time in a week, I didn't want him at the forefront of my mind.

"Welcome everyone. It's nice to see so many new faces. I'm Cameron McCain, but please call me Cameron. Mr. McCain is my father." He flashed another smile and the girls beside me began to whisper again. "I'll be guiding you through this class, and hopefully you'll learn something to make it worth your precious time, and mine."

Cameron continued with his presentation of the course and the schedule. He had a nice voice, so by the end of it, I realized that I hadn't listened to what he'd actually said. He'd finished with something about the final exam. Hopefully it wasn't the last time he would mention it.

I opened my notebook and read something I had scrawled down before Christmas. Don't forget, ask about assistant. I sank back into the seat with a frown. Before everything had happened with Gabriel, my plan had been to ask this teacher if he needed any kind of assistance in hopes of getting even more out of this course. It was my dream to be a photographer, and I could use any extra experience. Now, the prospect of extra hours didn't sound as alluring as it had then, but it was a stupid idea to let it go just because my life had changed.