"I knew my father. You?", I ask Crysthamum, while she slowly glides her finger across my chest. She's been very quiet, not like our usual dates. She seems very interested in family today. First she asked me about my Mom then my grand parents, now my father.
"Not really. I saw him when I was like five, then not so much after that.", Crys laid on my chest, playing with the hem line of my white t-shirt. "What was he like, if you don't mind me asking?"
"Well he was a good man, who took care of us. He's in Nigeria now and I miss the old guy sometimes. Planning a surprise trip over there soon, probably next month." As my hand rests on her side, it feels so natural as if it belongs there. I can't believe how relaxed we are around each other. We've been laying like this for hours just asking each other questions. "I like surprising him."
"You're a very sweet son, Victor. Your parents did an amazing job. I'm impressed. Really." She sat up completely and kissed me on my cheek. "Vic, you know something this is the exact reason why I like hanging out with you. You are just so chill. I can relax around you."
"Chill is good, right? Well it is in my book.", I ask then answer my own question as she begins to stare at me. "His lost. Remember that, don't sweat that."
"Who's loss?"
"Your Dad's. He missed out on such a beautiful child, a blessing from the Most High. All kids are really."
"Where did you come from?", she scoffs forming a smile. "My mom use to tell me that, but I always wanted to know what it was like to have a father. I went the wrong way for attention and made some stupid choices."
"Men?"
"Yeah, amoung other things. Just know I've done a lot of crazy things and caused my mother many sleepless nights. Looking for something I've loss that I never really had in the beginning."
She snuggled closer to me, I only held her tighter. I think she needed that.
"Your father was with you though. You were just blinded by want to see him."
"What are you talking about?"
I sat up to get to get a better look at her. "Ma, sit up for me." I want her to understand this when I tell her something someone should have told her years ago. "Beautiful creature, God was with you when you thought no one was. Where our earthly father fails, HE stood with you. You're a gift from HIM and when God gives a gift you have to accept it. Your father's lack of responsibility for you is the same as slapping God in the face. I know it's not the same thing, but with God by your side who can be against you. Like I said, it's his loss, because any father would be honored to have you as a daughter."
"Excuse me.", she said getting off the bed. "I'll be back." She walked out of the bedroom and disappeared downstairs.
It pisses me off that some men could do that to their children. That's why so many lost souls roam the earth now. Makes a bad name for all men that's actually doing their daddy duties.
I'm thankful for my dad all though he lives in a another country, he neverminded to take a plane to come and check up or put in check any of us kids. Near or far we knew Pops loved us. As I thought of Pops and remembered things I half forgot, time starts to roll away from me.
Crysthamum had left the room about twenty mintues ago, and she still hasn't came back. "Crys, baby you alright?", I say as I walk out of the bedroom and looked over the staircase to see if she heard me. "Baby? You hear me? You alright?"
I walk down the stairs to find her and as I walk through the living room onto the kitchen then back upstairs into the other two bedrooms I find nothing. How is she going to up and leave her own house and not tell a man she leaving?
