I heard people talking. They were talking about me. I didn't open my eyes just yet.
"Your daughter will be fine."
"Okay, thank you."
That's when I opened my eyes. I saw my mom standing over me.
"Morning sleepyhead, are you ready to go home?"
"Yeah!" I really didn't want to leave. Hospitals are like a home to me. Where people actually care about you.
"Okay, I brought you some clothes. Get dressed. I'll go sign the papers and I'll take you back to your grandparents."
"Okay."
I got up and went to get dressed in the bathroom.
I'm ready to go home and lay in my own bed. I don't live with my mom. She's a meth addict. I was taken from her when I was only 9 months old. My grandparents took me in so I wouldn't go into the system. My dad isn't really in my life also. Just here not long ago, he's trying to see me more. He was also into meth, but my dad's real problem is that he a very heavy drinker.
He gets drunk and beats on women. He had been getting better about it. He doesn't hit on women anymore (that I know of). I'm proud of him. I do want my real family back. I know it won't be perfect because my parents aren't together but it would still mean something.
I walked out of the bathroom when I was dressed. I had pulled my hair back into a ponytail. I sat back down on my bed for the last time and my eyes started to swell up with tears.
"I'm going home. Everything will be alright.'' I told myself.
I blinked the tears away, and my mom walked back in.
''You ready to go?''
"Yeah.''
We walked out to her car, and I always shave control of the radio. I put in Shinedown. I listened to ''Breaking inside''. I like that song. I feel like it pours part of my soul out. Only if anyone would listen. We pulled into the driveway of my house. I didn't wanna get out of the car. I had no other choice. I got out and went into the house. My grandma was still out of town for work and my grandpa was chilling on his bed with the dogs.
"Hey poppa.''
"Hey, where's your mom?''
"Smoking."
"Okay, well are you going to tell me why you did that to yourself again?!"
"No''
''Why not?''
"You won't understand" and then..."No one does..'' I said in a whisper..
"Whatever, go do your homework.''
Friend's Perspective Part B
I thought it might be a good idea to try to make make some kind of contact with her family. I'd make posts or comments on her Facebook page from time to time so they could see that I was a friend Rose was talking with regularly. Had I known what I know now I would have stayed completely hidden, but I didn't know.
I knew Rose was in therapy and it seemed that if everyone was on the same page it would be helpful. If I could become friends with her family and we could talk maybe I could learn how her therapist was treating her and I would try to stay in sync with that. And I could also try not to be talking with her in a way that her family would not approve of. So, my desire to be in touch with the family wasn't about me revealing to them anything Rose had told me in confidence. It was about everyone being in agreement on supporting her. And, since we were talking a lot and I was hearing a lot about why life was difficult for her, maybe if we were all in communication I could also help them understand what she doesn't know how to tell them. As it was now I knew I couldn't just start trying to tell them things - why would they believe me? They don't know who I am or what I'm about.
I left and went to my room. I don't have homework because nobody gotten my homework from the school. I just plugged my phone into my stereo and lay down on my bed. I heard my mom walk in and start talking to my grandpa so I turned down my music.
"What are we going to do with her?''
"I don't know?''
"Dad, She is just closing up again.''
"I know, we can't help her.''
My mom got pissed and walked into my room. I rolled over and hid the tears that were being to fall.
"I know you're not sleeping.''
"No, but I'm trying to,'' I replied.
"I was about to leave. Can I get a hug and a kiss?''
I got out of my bed and gave her a hug. She held me so tight. I didn't like it. I tried to move but she wouldn't let me go.
''Mom, let me go!''
''Sorry, I just miss you.''
''Yeah? I guess you should have thought about that before you put your hands on me and kicked me out!''
"YOU KNOW I DIDN'T MEAN TO SAY THAT!''
''Why are you yelling at me! You had to been thinking that if you said that! You can't lie to me! Besides, I'm living here now. Maybe we can try again.''
"When Rose! It feels like you're giving up on me?''
"I don't know. You lied to me and stabbed me in the back. Way too many times! I don't think I can trust you anymore!''
She got pissed and left.
I stayed in my room for the rest of the day. I go back to school tomorrow because I don't have a "good reason'' to stay home. They never cared what was wrong unless the school sent me home.
A Friend's Perspective Part V
My first contact with Rose's mother was actually an after thought. This Stevie Nicks group we were both in was selling these Stevie Nicks t-shirts and one night I mentioned them to Rose. She said she wasn't getting one cause she didn't have the money. It was almost the deadline for ordering so I told her I could get one for her and send it to her. Then, later, I thought, her family doesn't know me and I'm going to be sending her stuff in the mail and I asked her about it. She said it would be fine, they wouldn't care. Still, I decided to write a short note to her mom and send it along with the t-shirt when I sent it. So, that's how I introduced myself to her mother. I never heard anything back from her, but she did get the note cause I asked Rose about it and she said her mom thought the note was "kind".
