Fatal | jeremy shada

one / hello stranger

The chilly autumn breeze drowned me as I sat on a bench waiting for Luke in the late afternoon. Luke wasn't my boyfriend, not yet anyway. We had been seeing each other for quite some time so I was hoping tonight's date would result in us finally becoming official.

I checked my watch and it had been 15 minutes after he was supposed to be here, I messaged him letting him know I was ready to be picked up just in case he lost track of time. I distracted myself by checking all the social media apps on my phone before checking the time again. It had been half an hour and still no Luke or reply. This place was just a few shops; a baker, florist, supermarket, café, shoe shop and clothing store, amongst others. I was deciding whether to take the short bus trip back to my house or stay here a little longer. Thoughts of catching the bus home made me more irritated due to the fact that I could drive, only Luke said he would pick me up from here so I didn't need my car. I decided on taking a short walk around to distract myself again. It had been exactly an hour now, no Luke, no reply so I headed into the supermarket to get a few things to drown my sorrows in.

I reached the confectionary aisle when my text tone went off. Finally a message from Luke:
Are you still there? x

I replied with:
Yes x

It showed he had read my message straight away and as I waited for his reply, confusion washed over me. 10 minutes had passed until he replied with:

I'm out now, busy though. Can I see you tomorrow babe? x

I sent back:
Okay, definitely xx

Despite my calm text, my blood was boiling. I had never felt so humiliated in my entire life. It angered me - the fact that he so easily stood me up, and it made me question his feelings for me, which made me even more upset. I didn't even want to know or think what he was doing or who he was busy with. The worst part is that it was none of my business and he could do whatever or see whoever he pleased because he wasn't mine.

I grabbed a bag of cookies and headed over to the spreads aisle to grab a jar of Nutella. I angrily swiped the items through self checkout and crammed them into the plastic bag. How could he do this to me?

I cursed every word under the sun to myself as I exited the supermarket. I held onto the bag tight as my eyes began to glisten with tears. I clenched my jaw to hold them back but it didn't stop my eyes and nose from going red, I'd just say it was the cold or my hay-fever if I saw anyone I knew.

My steps quickened to the bus stop, coincidentally passing couples, I felt like I was being mocked. My eyes caught sight of a brunette boy with deep green eyes that couldn't decide whether they were green or blue, he had some sort of expression on his face but he probably just thought I was weird because I looked like I was about to breakdown, and I wanted to at that point.

I clenched my jaw tighter diverting my gaze. I continued cussing myself and Luke out in my head until I felt a hand grab my arm whipping me around. I faced the green eyed boy from seconds before. His face now showed clear concern and it didn't help my mood.

"Are you alright?" His sweet voice asked.

"Take a guess," I harshly answered shifting my arm out of his grip.

"No?" He was taken back by my abruptness.

"Genius," I rudely remarked.

"I'm just trying to help," he spoke trying to maintain his sweetness.

"Did I ask for your random act of kindness?" He began to open his mouth before I stopped his reply by answering my own question, "no."

He chuckled at my rudeness which surprised me, "you don't need to ask for a random act of kindness, that's why it's called random act of kindness."

"Thanks, I'll remember that next time when a stranger pretends to care about how I'm feeling and grabs my arm stopping me when I have places to be, just so they can feel like they've done some good."

"I'm not pretending to care. I do care, I'm not acting like I know how you're feeling so stop acting like you know how I am." His words were a bit harsher than before but nothing compared to how I was speaking to him. "If you need to go somewhere I could drive you?"

"You expect me to trust you?" I was causing a scene and honestly it wasn't me, I was just hurt from Luke.

He rubbed his hand over his face, "you know what, I'm not going to bother anymore, a pretty girl like you fooled me."

"You'd be acting this way if you'd just been stood up," I defended myself.

"Not towards someone who's trying to make my day. I can see why he stood you up."

"You are in no place to say that, you don't know me, or the relationship I have with him," I practically shouted. Tears began to spill over my bottom lids and I hated that I was an emotional person. "Honestly you're the highlight of my day," I sobbed before hiding my face in my hands.

He hesitated before embracing me probably because of the curious eyes that watched us as they wandered by. He was warm and his scent was addicting and I could've stood like that for the rest of the afternoon. I peeled myself off of him remembering he was a stranger to me who didn't need to worry himself with my boy troubles.

"Thank you," I said as I wiped my stained cheeks with the backs of my hands.

"All good," he said a little awkward shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. Might I add he looked amazing in tight black jeans and a grey t-shirt.

"I really am sorry for the way I acted," I apologised. "I better be going, thanks again." I didn't wait for a reply, I turned around as quick as I could continuing my brisk walk to the bus stop. Great I probably look like a mess, I am a mess.

"Wait up," he instructed, jogging to meet up with me. "I can take you wherever you need to go."

"Away from all of this." The daunting words were the truest words I'd ever spoken. It left the green eyed boy without words. "You see? You can't help me, I'm a mess." These last couple of weeks with Luke had been torture for me, I'd gotten too comfortable thinking that we were really a couple but hey, at least it was time spent. I hated how I could feel like this now but if he was to show up tomorrow and acted like he really cared about me I'd fall straight back into his hands. I was falling too hard for a boy who didn't know what he wanted.

"Alright, let's go!" He exclaimed grabbing my free hand. I didn't budge and he noticed my furrowed eyebrows. "However far away you need to go, we'll go and we won't come back until you feel better." His smile felt like it could glue the pieces of my heart back together.

"I admire your persistence but listen to me, you can't help me." My tone was a lot lighter than before.

"I can help you, you're just not letting me." Now his words left me without any.

I pursed my lips before shaking my head, "I don't need you worrying about me, you've already done more than I could ask for." I hugged him tightly before running the short way to the bus stop, thankfully in time for the bus. I let out a huge sigh as I sunk into the unsanitary seat, the first time I've ever felt comfortable on public transport.

I stepped off the bus and the wind made strands of hair tickle my cheeks and that's when I caught it. A memory smell that had already registered itself in my brain. His cologne on the ends of my hair from our embrace. His smell was already comforting for me and I had no idea what his name was.