Drowning Lessons ➳ Frerard

.Chapter TwentyTwo.

Sitting in the hospital was fucking agonizing, all the small chatter, the squeaking wheels, the distant sound of beeping heart monitors and most of all; the waiting.

Ray, Mikey and Frank sat in the waiting room, silent tears falling down their faces as people walked in and out through the from entrance, some with happy news and smiled and some with sad news and tears.

"Oh my God - Mikey, what happened?" The three jumped from the loudness of the intruders voice but then relaxed as they realized it was just Donna. She was crying as she sat in one of the chairs.

"It was the lake, mom." Mikey mumbled in an emotionless tone. "He drowned...and now he's dead."

Donna erupted into more tears at the news, that made Frank almost burst into tears for what seemed like the fourteenth time today because this was all his fault...

And because of his stupid actions.

That's when Frank lose it and he doubled over, his face resting in the palm of his hands, his crying was louder then the others and it kind of embarrassed him.

"Frank honey - what's wrong? Donna asked, her hand finding it's way to the small of his back.

"It's my fault." Frank sobbed, "Gerard's dead because of me."

"Honey, don't say that." Donna whispered. "It wasn't your fault."

That's when Mikey stood up and pointed an accusing finger at Frank and glared. "It is to your fault."

Frank continued crying.

"Mikey! Don't blame him!" Donna frowned.

"Why?" Mikey shouted. "He drove Gerard over the edge, the reason he started self-harming again and then kicked Gerard in the stomach and why he has some sick obsession with that fucking lake!"

Donna stared wide eyed at Mikey and then to frank. "Is this true, Frank?"

He nodded. "I don't deserve to live Donna - he does - I don't. I'm a horrible person and I fucking love Gerard Way and now he won't ever know." Frank rambled.

Donna sighed and pulled Frank closer to her. "I don't believe that it was all your fault, Frank." She bit her lip. "Gerard has always been a little sick, nobody could really help him. And if you loved him, I'm sure he knows."

Frank shook his head. "I was a complete dick to him, he thinks I hate him and...I don't think I can live with that, because really - it's the opposite. I love him - so much, so much that it kills me."

"Frank - this isn't your fault - nobody could help it, he doesn't make all that good of decisions and that's ends up with bad consequences. It's not your fault."

Frank didn't believe it though, no matter how many people told him otherwise. He was horrible.

"Ms Way? You can come see him now." A nurse said, appearing from a hallway.

"I thought he was dead?" Donna asked, tears still - but barely - noticeable.

"The doctor will explain - follow me." The nurse smiled sadly and turned around.

Everyone followed her until they stopped at a room where there was an oddly slow beep of a heart monitor.

Frank whimpered. "He's - I feel so horrible."

"Shh." Mikey slapped a hand to Frank's mouth as they stepped into the quiet and disturbingly white room. "Just shut up for once."

Gerard was laying still in the hospital bed, his chest rising and falling painfully slow. He was this close to death.

All because of Frank...

Frank walked to Gerard's side and he lazily looked up at Frank with one open eye. "Hi Frank."

"Gerard - I don't like seeing you here." Frank sighed sadly and reached for Gerard's hand, in which was gladly given to him.

"Well, I don't like being here." Gerard moved his head awkwardly as if it hurt to move. "Hi mom."

She waved sadly at Gerard and walked up to him, kissing his forehead. "I missed you so much, honey."

He shrugged. "I thought you didn't like me anymore."

Donna started crying. "I'm so sorry, Gerard, it's just I lost my new husband and we haven't even gotten anything to do a funeral and - I'm sorry baby, I could never not like you. You're my son, you mean everything to me."

Gerard sighed and clenched his eyes closed. "I know mom."

The doctor came in with a clipboard and he frowned at everyone in the room. "I'm afraid that this is not one of this good news and bad news times." He looked down and sighed. "Do you just want me to tell you?"

Donna nodded. "Please just tell me. No matter how awful it is."

"When Gerard fell or dived into the lake, he had enough force that he hit the bottom and smacked his head off a large rock in the bottom of the lake and causing some head trauma. He messed up his head and neck and he had to much water in his system, messing up some of his internal organs."

Gerard was silent and Frank swore up and down that the monitor got even slower.

"So that means..." Donna trailed off, covering her mouth and keeping from crying out loud.

"Gerard doesn't have all that much time to live. I'm sorry Ms Way." The doctor set the clipboard down and stared at the ground.

Gerard just stared at his mom then finally noticed that Mikey and Ray were in the room. "I'm not all that surprised, I'm sorry Mikey - Ray, mom. Can I speak to Frank alone?"

Donna nodded and ushered the two boys out and the doctor following them both.

"I feel like a dick, Gerard." Frank mumbled. "This is my fault."

"No - Frank. It's not, well...yeah, I'm emotionally unstable because of you and it hurts to speak but...you know something?"

"What?" Frank asked quietly.

"This is what I wanted." Gerard smiled and held his hand out so that Frank could grab onto it. "I'm actually happy - even though you made me happy when you weren't angry with me."

Frank let out a small cry. "I'm so sorry, you're an amazing person Gerard and-and I l-love you." He blushed and looked down at his fingers interlocked with Gerard's.

"I love you too, Frank. If my insides and all of me weren't slowly dying - I would hug you." Gerard mumbled. "Please don't forget me though."

"Gerard, what are you talking about?" Frank asked, panic rising from his toes to his chest. "No - Gerard - please no."

Gerard's eyelids fluttered slightly as he gave a weak smile and his fingers and body went limp in the bed. The heart monitor changing into long and agonizingly painful beep. "Gerard no!" Frank yelled, for some reason opening that he'd wake up again.

But the chance of that was low. "Frank - stop." Mikey rushed in and grabbed onto Frank. He bad red bloodshot eyes from crying and he looked down at his brothers lifeless body on the white sheets. "Oh my God..."

Frank struggled to get out of Mikey's grip and leant down, touching his lips lightly to Gerard's forehead. "I love you Gerard."

Frank walked to the doorway and trudged down the hallway, leaving the others to their goodbyes. And as he exited the building, he thought he heard a soft whisper in the wind.

"I love you too, Frank."

And somehow, Frank managed a smile for the first time that day.

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I don't think it was to sad, this is the end, but it's not. I'm gonna make an epilogue and probably write it and upload it sometime tonight

Well my gun fires seven different shades of shit,

So what's your favorite color, punk?