Unspoken ▹ Teen Wolf [01]

039.

A wave of self-hatred seemed to encircle Rachel for the rest of the day & straight through the night, as though it were a cloud blocking the sun from providing vital nutrients to flowers. It wasn't simply for not telling Allison the true urgency of her mother's request, no, it was the cause of guilt she'd repeatedly been pushing into the back of her mind for weeks on end, which of course with the rising full moon; her mind had unfortunately gotten stuck in overdrive, allowing the guilt to flood her mind with the worst of thoughts in the most definite worst of times.

Rachel wasn't even sure it was guilt anymore, being that the initial wave had hit her nearly twenty-four hours ago. With the rising full moon, she was beginning to lean more towards the idea that she was becoming angrier, rather than what she'd deemed "aggressively guilty" when speaking to Stiles on the phone (she'd called him to ramble on about their topic of interest the previous night, as well as suggest the possibility of her aggression & "jealousy" being merely caused by the fact that she was still a werewolf, and the full moon was in less than a few hours.)

Now, it was less than an hour- and she still had yet to decide exactly where she intended to be when it was in full swing. Lydia had given her a dress to wear, (which Rachel had no intention of putting on, even if she did choose to attend the party) and she'd even gotten the strawberry blonde a gift, (if a dollar store card & a cheap friendship bracelet she found in a discount basket at the checkout counter could even be considered a gift) but still, she found herself second-guessing her choice of placement.

All arguments aside, Rachel knew this full moon was going to be a tough one for her brother. He had three betas to watch over, all while keeping himself safe if a hunter happened to stumble upon their not-so-secret hideout. Not to mention the fact that Derek had chosen to use the ancient chains, ones he brought with them from their old home, to restrain the new wolves, rather than purchasing much more reliable ones. Just by looking at them, Rachel knew a lot of luck would be needed for them to last the entire night. No matter how much Derek insisted he could handle it on his own, he was going to need help.

The only problem, was that Rachel had sworn to Lydia she'd attend her birthday. She'd been avoiding the strawberry blonde like she was a form of highly-contagious plague for the past few weeks, and if she had any intention of salvaging their friendship, she had to at least make an appearance. Even if only for ten minutes; long enough to deliver the cheap friendship bracelet & card with $20 bill stuffed inside. Still, the possibility of her brother being murdered by his own betas (or worse, the Argents) in those ten minutes of absence terrified her more than it should have after what had gone on between them lately.

They definitely weren't on the best of terms, but nonetheless, her undying loyalty proved it wouldn't be possible for her to completely abandon the last remaining family member of hers on his own for what may be one of the most painful of nights for many, many (were-)people. But, it also proved to be an even bigger nuisance when it'd taken momentary control of her, long enough to text Lydia one final confirmation that she would indeed be in attendance at the infamous party of the year. In fact, the only thing she hadn't declared she was going to do, was wear the dress Lydia bought for her.

Speaking of the "expensively beautiful" dress, Rachel decided 0.5 seconds after she finished her fight with it's zipper, that she was never going to wear it again. Ever. Not to the party, not to a school formal, not even to Lydia's funeral- which will be very soon, if she buys Rachel another dress & proceeds to insist she wear it. The reflector had ended up going with a pair of old, black ripped skinny jeans & a dark red top, (which, if somehow it ended up getting blood on it, wouldn't be ruined like her formal dress) covered with her signature jacket. Although, to suit at least one of the birthday girl's requests, Rachel did ditch her old ratty sneakers, better yet, she ditched them for a pair of heels, just like Lydia had asked.