Find Yourself

Dear Friend

Friends, yes we where once. Yet no more and it's never a clever or easy decision.

I am sorry for how you felt or still feel about me, I've been there once in my life. Not of that lie that I hide behind, I've taken a friends memories and used them as mine. So then every time I tell it wont take me back and hurt me again.

It's actually funny at times,when it hurts a lot. Believe when I say I've never meant for any of this as I was just a kid of 14 and you who I guess could've be stronger and knew more than I did because you were 16.

Understand that once a friend always a friend even with our differences, That girl the real one we actually got into a huge argument. Since middle school we found our way back to friendship but thats where the argument took place. Ive seen her a few times but I've never dared to see eye to eye. Last time it was I who was to harsh.

Part of me says good she deserves it for breaking your heart and all but mainly she doesn't, We had something special but she loves him. I cant put a gun to her head, force her to be with someone she doesn't want to be with. After all we where once friends and even if we spend sometime together and I didn't know her favourite flowers or her favourite artist we had our times, when we laughed, shared secrets and trusted each other. To me if you gain a little special place in my heart it stays there even if they leave and no one can ever replace you, no one can take your spot.

I do understand, but I never lead you on. I told you I had a crush that I then had a girlfriend. All in my school.

Indeed I liked you our mutual friend got me so convinced that I had to go to a talent show. Yes I left early, I had other things attend to.

When I meet you I found a broken girl wondering, I thought you had suffered to much and I saw someone I did and did't recognise at the time. What kind of person is going to see someone bleed to death and walk away?

I was so broken love was not something that I could've say to anyone, not even to her. the funny thing you might have known more about me then what I told her. The first time I said it I meant it but when we where together I was scared because she was the only girl that I would have said "I love you".

Well not the only one but the first. So it was for her.

What I don't get to understand is that you loved me as equal as you loved her, you two where closer and yet you hated her. The meaning of hate was unknown to me or her, because one how loves a friend does not attack the other behind there backs.

You dared to fantasise that I was her and she was I. The fact that where mostly alike doesn't make me a girl and It doesn't make her a guy.

What took me to make those where you, you where annoyed with just a hi, you were mad with everything. Sure blame me but not the flash, she did nothing wrong. She didn't even know you had feelings for her. No one knows her like I do, sure Oumou might, Elijah just as well and Itzel might understand her and Evans might know her heart and mind but I am her secret the only name she wont mention when it comes to best friends. She will be thinking when family comes around.

We never broke up. We where never together. If it worked like that I would still cheating on my not even if resolved ex and shes been cheating with me. I bet you love it, seeing her like this, knowing what she cared for dearest left her. I bet you love seeing her broken with no hope. Thats the thing about hope, It never dies even if you give up.

A friend is always a friend = Don't ever give up on that person = Hope
One more = Keep trying to the max = Don't ever give up = Hope

What I'm saying is don't let the past ruin something amazing, Keep going.

Yeah It was creepy that when I blocked you, You made another account to keep and eye on me, to be honest who doesn't search everything they can of there crush?. Everyone at least.

The only hidden things any one can find about me is what I put out there, but the real hidden secrets the ones that I let no one see are locked away in the biggest safe that even I can't open. So the past stays where it belongs and doesn't creep out to the present

I'm sorry to disappoint once more, but you brought this on yourself. Once upon a time was dead the first time but no second chances, you ended it this time around.

You lost that protective side when you decided make flash seem like the bad guy, the one who needed to apologise when she did nothing but try to be happy around your act of victim.

Never in my life I would want someone to change for me, there flaws there talent there spirit is what makes a person unique is the reason I am there friend. Sure I might want some little things to change bad habits into good because I want them to success, I don't want them to die young get cancer or arrested or taken away. I want them near just as always like family.

I come in a packet deal or so I've figured, if your really over me why do you still go for package two. Being rude isn't a way to show you've move on but the opposite.