scars // ashtray // euphoria

5 - mine now

after the party me and ash decided to watch a film, we were tired and just wanted to chill out. we didn't mention anything that happened at the party, we both acted like it was normal?

we put on spiderman after we both showered and i wore ash's basketball shorts and a random tshirt he gave me. we eventually fell asleep together with ashs arms tangled around my waist.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

the next morning nothing special happened, we went to the store and we were just sat on the couch ash has in his little refrigerator room, customers coming in and out to get drugs from ash giving me weird looks as i sat next him on the couch with his hand on my thigh.

"another hoe is it ash" a boy asked ashtray as he took the drugs from his hand. another hoe? he's brought girls here before? am i just another hoe to ashtray? i had a million thoughts running through my head. "watch your mouth. thats my girl" ash was watching the boys ever move as he exited the room without another word. "your girl?" i looked at ash trying to figure out if he meant it or just said it to defend me "your mine now ma. i don't just kiss anyone" i felt my cheeks get hot and a smile appear on my face as he drew little circles on my thigh. "so i'm not just 'another hoe' like that guy said" "absolutely not. your my girl" we smiled at each other as i turned myself around so my head was in his lap instead of my legs he moved his hands from my thigh to my hair as he tangled it around his fingers.
i looked up at him "ash" he hummed at me looking down into my eyes "i want you to kiss me" "how bad?" "shut up and kiss me" i laughed knowing he wanted to kiss me too and he was just teasing, and thats what he did, our lips met and it was soft and passionate and i found myself moving my legs either side of him sitting on his lap. his hands moved to my ass and his tongue grazed my bottom lip for access. i didn't let him though, teasing him back from his little comment. once he realised i wasn't letting his tongue enter my mouth he squeezed his hands that were still placed firmly on my ass making a slight moan escape my mouth, he took this opportunity to slide his tongue in and kiss me harder, his hands moved my waist back and fourth so i was now rocking on ashs lap i could feel him getting harder by the second, just like i was getting wetter by the second. i wanted him. but then a thought came to mind. what if this is all he wants. what if he gets what he wants and leaves. what if i was just another hoe to him and he just wouldn't admit it. these thoughts caused me to jump up straight away leaving ash on the couch as i quickly exited the refrigerator and the shop so i could take a minute outside. i felt bad just leaving him in there like that, but i don't think i'm ready for him to leave so i dont what to give him what he wants just yet.

a few minutes passed as i sat on the curb outside the shop trying ti collect my thoughts. "'ma you okay, did i do something wrong? if you dont want to thats okay" ash said taking a seat next to me on the curb "no ash i'm sorry you did nothing wrong and i want to its just.... i just don't think I'm ready, I'm sorry" i put my head in my hands feeling like a complete idiot  "its okay not to be ready riv" i looked at him to see he's already smiling at me "the shop closes in an hour, you can stay at my place tonight if you want. we'll head back as soon as its all closed up" "okay, just give me a minute ill meet you inside" "okay ma" he pulls me close kissing the side of my head before walking back into the store. oh god. i've completely and utterly fallen for this boy and only time will tell if its a good thing or a bad thing.

words: 761
A/N
sorry for the long update, ill be updating more tonight. thank you for reading.
remember your beautiful