The severing souls of the clone wars

Not my Satine

Obiwan had never experienced this feeling before, the little kick he got whenever he was around Satine. It was confusing to say the least.
Confusing, and yet made much more sense than she did.
He thought them friends, only to be treated like a disliked stranger for over a week.
Now he stood in her castle, a Jedi body guard, and her partner in their task at hand, and yet they had arrived hours ago and all he had seen of her was when they had entered the castle and she had pointed a room out to him which he could stay in.
According to Satine, her guards could protect her well, and Obiwan was here just in case sith threats arised.
Really, Obiwan suspected she was avoiding him, or just did not wish to see him.
For a week now, he had attempted to speak to her, and for a week, she had expertly diffused any conversation he even started, it was frustrating to say the least.
Now he floated on a balcony, mediation not coming to him as easily as it usually did, while he pondered these matters greatly.
Grey clouds rolled over the otherwise clear sky, the promise of rain reflecting Obiwans mood almost perfectly.
Below, the people of Mandalore rushed home to their families, as another work day came to an end.
Children ran up and down the streets, while vendors closed their carts, leaving an almost isolated feeling, as everything and everyone seems to recede.
Frowning, Obiwan closed his eyes, trying to attune himself to the force like he had done so many times before.
The soft rustle of leaves filled the air, as he attempted to focus on his surroundings, and yet... nothing.
Leaves. That was it.
He could not find that thread that was normally inside him linking him to the force, it was concerning.
Scrunching his face, Obiwan tried again, this time the rustle of leaves was interrupted by foot steps and a door opening.
"Kenobi."
He knew that voice well, would know it on his death bed.
"Dutchess."
Apparently they were back to formalities, Obiwan frowned further as he opened his eyes.
She was alone, arms behind her back, a tight expression on her face.
No body guards, unnerved, Obiwan stood from his floating poison and crossed his arms.
"Where are your guards."
"I do not need them to follow me around everywhere in my own castle."
"That is a debatable matter."
Silence sizzled between them as Satine narrowed her eyes. The tension could have been cut with a knife.
"I am able to decide my own safety, on my own planet, in my own castle."
"You are, it does not mean that you are making the right desicions though."
It was like brushing his teeth, Obiwan slipped into this routine of speaking to Satine so well, he almost smiled at the familiarity until he remembered their relationship was strained.
"You are as arrogant as ever Obiwan."
"I thought you were calling me Kenobi."
Her only response was a frown as she stepped fully into the balcony.
Taking it as a small win, for a reason he did not yet know himself, Obiwan cleared his throat.
"I would like to speak to you."
"We are already speaking."
She was being difficult, okay, Obiwan could work with that, he had trained Anakin for years, it did not get more difficult than that.
"I would like to speak about our friendship."
A cold laugh escaped form Satine.
"That is easy to speak about, we do not have one."
She could have ran him through with a lightsabre it would have hurt less.
Trying not to flinch, Obiwan fiddled with his beard.
"In that case, I am not aware when our friendship ended. Would you care to elaborate?"
He hated being this formal with her. He felt like he was speaking to a diplomat he didn't know and not an old friend.
It felt wrong, she was the only person, other than Anakin and Qui Gon - when he had been alive, that he felt he could truly be himself around.
And now they spoke like a Dutchess and Jedi, not friends.
A deep sigh escaped Satine, she walked to the balcony rail.
"We do not agree on political matters, I do not agree with your republican... ways... and you do not agree with my planets neutrality."
She was just stating facts.
"So? It has been like that for at least 2 years."
As the words left his mouth, Obiwan felt more confused, sure their different opinions had always contrasted, especially when the clone wars started 2 years ago.
But why should that strain their friendship now, why not then?
Satines eyes stared into nothing, her mind clearly far away.
"I have come to realise some things since I last saw you Ob- Kenobi. Some unfortunate things, we can not remain friends."
"What-"
"The fact that you yourself have not realised these things yet is part of the issue, the other part is that I know you, and that you do not change, you stand by your morals and those of your order."
A sick feeling started to twist itself inside Obiwan. He wanted to deny everything she was saying, but when he opened his mouth to do so.. no words came out. Instead he said.
"But that has been the case since before we met, why is that an issue now?"
Satines eyes looked so sad it broke Obiwans heart, as she came fully into view turning to face him.
"It has always been an issue, we were just too stubborn to admit it, we still are."
She turned to leave, the thought scared Obiwan in a way that terrified him.
Before he could stop himself he reached for her, causing her to stop mid step.
He had expected some answers when bringing up their friendship, and yet he had gotten non and was left with more questions.
"I'm confused please-"
"Kenobi."
The name was cold, as was her face, any hint of emotion she had showed before was now long gone.
"The answer to your question was, we were never really friends, deep down, and if you think hard about it enough you'll know why."
And then she was gone, leaving Obiwan speechless as the grey clouds darkened while the sun and the sky that was once blue turned a brilliant shade of red before, a suffocating black.
Reflecting much of what Obiwan was feeling as he thought back on years of friendship. Feeling sick.
It had not been a real friendship, that is what Satine had said. Then what had it been? Fake?
No, that could not be it.
Obiwan knew that Satine could not mean this much to him if everything between them had not been real.
They would have the connection if it he'd all been forced.
Her statement which was meant to give him the answer to the question that had been haunting him for weeks, only left him more confused, with a looming sense that the answer he seeked was right infront of him, he was just too blind to see it.