Cold to the touch // Jdxslushie

Altar of slush - 1

"Say hi to god."

Were the last words I heard before the deafening silence of what I could only assume, and hope was my death.

The next thing I see is a bright light, my immediate thought is that of fear. I was never a good person, I knew that. But now sitting here facing whatever god is waiting for me beyond the light start to feel a sickening pain in my chest.

BEEEEEEPPPPP

The sound of hospital equipment makes me realize that my death had failed. "Oh my god he's awake." a voice I don't recognize says. I open my eyes blinking a little from the brightness that engulfs the room I am in. I around, two nurses are standing there

"What's happening?" I finally croak out "JD what can you remember?" a tall blonde nurse questions. I take a minute to sit on the question, what don't I remember? Eventually, I spoke up, "Everything...I remember everything." the nurse nodded and grabbed her brunette colleague and they left the room, probably to discuss my situation, and how they felt ever so sad about my suicide attempt.

For a few days my life consisted mainly of being poked and prodded by needles, asked questions by doctors, being numbed by mood stabilizers, and other things of the sort. Eventually, it came time for me to be discharged from the hospital. I wasn't quite sure if I was being picked up by my father or if he had already skipped town to Florida or California. He did end up coming to get me, which I'm not quite sure if that is good or bad. During the car ride home, I was hit with a barrage of insults and threats for "Taking the easy way out" by blowing myself up in front of the school.

As we drive back down the familiar roads we drive up to and almost passed the 7/11. My heart skips a beat when I see my altar of slush. "Stop the car," I say, interrupting my father's rant. "Fine but you're walking home because I won't be out here waiting for you to come out with that disgusting concoction you make yourself. "Ok," I reply before jolting out of the car as quickly as one can when on crutches. Shoving open the door and rushing to that machine I love so dearly.

I pour myself a medium cherry slushie and let the icy cold slush rush to my brain and numb every feeling of dread and despair that was once coursing through my veins. These are much better than my meds.

"Jason..you came back for me?" a high fructose corn syrupy sweet voice asks. I jolt my head around the near-empty store unable to find the source of that enchanting voice. "JD it's me Slush," the voice calls out again, ringing through my ears no less beautifully than before. "Slushie?? Are you talking?" I ask, staring down at the drink in my hand. "Yes JD it's me. I've always been here, waiting for you." I smile "Slush how are you even talking?" I question the object I once thought was inanimate. "I don't know JD...How are you even alive?" the slushie's face turns to one of sheer sadness and despair. "The slushie machine is right next to the newspapers...When I saw you on the paper I was so excited...then I read the headline...." I sigh "I'm sorry slush, you know I never meant to worry you." I say as tears well up in my eyes, I finally see the gravity of what I have done. "It's ok..just don't do it again. I was so scared for so long."

"I won't ever leave you again slush"

"Do you promise?"

"I promise"