• Layla - P.JM •

1

***

Running away from the darkness. Trying to find the light. Turning to the right side, there's nothing to be found. Turning to the left side, it's still the same.

I know that I'm trying to move forward, and the darkness is still behind. But in hope I missed it, I'm turning back just to find the same color all over again.

Wanting to continue my journey of finding my light, I kept on going. Fear is going through all over my body. I don't even see anything. I'm not doing so well in this so called "mission". Maybe once I find any light, all of this can stop.

People say "why don't you open other door of your life, there's a solution? You can feel way better." But ... do I see any door? I don't even see any light.

I am feeling so helpless, and I'm going to one place that I consider as "a corner". There's no walls either, or maybe there are, but I don't see them. I'm sitting down while putting my head at my legs. I wouldn't believe someone will say I said this, but... I hope someone can come and save me.

***

Waking up from the same dream that I have for a long time now, I'm taking a deep breath staying in the same position since I'm used to this condition that I'm in. I turned my head to the right side and took the a towel from my night stand which is always prepared for the morning. A routine. My morning routine. A never ending saga for years now. I got up and put my head in my hands. My original song which was never published came to my head. It's called "Save me" and I really wonder what inspired it? I sighed. I hate this. Ofcourse, I was sarcastic.

"New day, but still the same." I sighed once again and finally got up knowing I need to prepare for a one more very exhausting day in my life. No changes at all in it.

"Park Jimin, you are again getting late for the office!" My mom bursted in my room scolding me the same second I woke up. I'm used to this. Did I mentioned a morning routine already? Argh, seriously...

"I have a meeting later, I'll handle it. Don't worry, mom. And I'm not late, I am CEO. I can go whenever I want." I replied while getting in the bathroom to take a shower.

"It's going to be a long day again." I said and sighed. "As usual."

3 hours later

I am already in my office preparing my papers for the meeting. Too much documents and presentations. If someone said I would care about this job a long time ago, I would just laugh and call him crazy. This is not why I wanted before. I wanted something else. Not this. Something very opposite. Not even related to all of this. But I knew I wouldn't be supported by my parents and even knowing that, I tried. I really tried chasing my dream. But my own parents were insulting me because of that on daily basis. They said I will never succeed and this is not how we earn money for food. I fell in the depression then. Never found a way out of it. I tried, I really tried finding a way out, but no. Nothing is helping. Not even friends, alcohol, girls.. I just figured out they're all the same. Not just girls, but friends too. New ones. At least the old friends are still good. They are all gold diggers. Girls wants my money, while my new, so called, friends want fame and money. My company too. I wouldn't even be surprised if someone comes and asks me to give a company to them just because they want all money for them.