Chapter 9

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I miss when your name was just a name.
Your face was just a face without a deeper meaning
I miss when goodbyes were just a wave — without that funny feeling
"That you might mean a little more than I intended for"

Going back...

We never dated,
but my heart doesn't seem to understand that.
We never dated,
yet every laugh,
every conversation
felt like it was building to something more.
We never dated,
but I caught myself planning little things to make you smile.
We never dated,
yet here I am,
scrolling through our messages, feeling a pang of something lost.
We never dated, and maybe that's why it hurts so much,
knowing I was the only one who felt that spark.

Actually...

I'm never certain about anything in my life.
In every decision,
there's always hesitation.
Even for the simplest things,
I find it difficult to pick.
I'm not sure which one to choose between chocolate and milk.
Between coffee and tea or;
between butter and honey.
But for the first time in my life, my heart knows something that rings true.
"I'm an indecisive person, but for the moment we met, the only thing I'm certain of, is you"

Frankly speaking...

I was so afraid of losing you until I realized,
you really never belonged to me in the first place.
Because even though my heart was with you,
yours was with everything and everyone else.
So instead of being afraid to lose you,

I just sir back and watched you lose me.

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