The Aggro-Surviving Summer

Better

t's been a week since they found mom and dad. My once hopeful and strong view on the whole situation has diminished. I'm not keeping strong for Jonas anymore, I'm not staying strong for myself either. I haven't been outside, haven't seen or talked to any of my friends and worst of all, I've barely spoken to my older brother. In no way am I angry at Jonas, I just can't face him in the state that I'm in. I know he's worried, he's sat on the other side of my door trying to speak to me but I can't say anything back, I can't find the right words.

After shutting myself off from the world for a week, I've come to the realization I can't sit in sadness for the rest of my life. My parents have been gone for years, my day to day life is no different. The only thing different is now I have the answer that they are actually dead, even if they didn't die years ago when I thought they died, they're still gone.

I brush my hair and teeth and make my way out of my room. Jonas immediately jumps from his seat on the couch, I give him a big smile... a real one. Jonas quickly walks over to me and pulls me into his chest, he kisses the top of my head a few times before releasing me from his arms "I'm going for a surf" I inform my older brother "what's changed your mind?" Jonas' voice sounds worried but proud at the same time "I realized my life hasn't changed because of the news, I just wish it didn't take me a week to realize that" I tell him honestly "yeah but Lex, that's a lot of shit to deal with. I don't blame the way you were coping" Jonas puts a steady hand on my shoulder "I'm still sorry, I'm going to be okay. I just needed some time to figure everything out" I smile "Bax has come to check up on you, he said you haven't answered your texts and he was worried" my heart drops at Jonas' words. I can't face Bax after this. It feels awkward to talk to him after falling off the face of the earth for the last week. Poppy and the others will understand, I've known them for my whole life! But Bax? He probably thinks I'm crazy or selfish for ghosting him.

I practically run down to the water, I don't waste any time to finally be in the ocean after so long. I missed the salt water even the sticky hair that comes with it but most of all, I missed the sounds of the waves.

I only get about five decently sized waves before I decide to head inside. When I make it back to the house, Jonas just stares at me with amazement, I can't help but feel guilty. I feel like such a shitty friend and sister for not talking to anyone. The last thing I want is to act cold and different to the people I love the most.

I get a text from Poppy asking if I wanna go out for dinner with the group, I almost immediately reply with yes. I think it's going to be really good for me to get out of the house and see my best friends after so long of shutting them out. I bet it was Manu's and Jonas' idea which i'm not mad about, it feels good to have them make the plans for me instead of me having to reach out first.

The day passes by quickly, I clean up my room and bathroom that was slowly turning into a huge mess and by the time I'm done doing that. I start to get ready, I put on mascara, do my eyebrows and straighten my hair. It's definitely nice to dress up, even if it's just dinner with a few friends. My outfit is a orange corduroy jacket with a white tank under it and some jean shorts.

I walk out of my room and sit in the living room waiting for Manu to pick me up. Jonas takes a seat on one of the chairs across the living room "if you wanna come home early just call me" Jonas says "I really am okay Jon, I don't want people to treat me different because of this" I can feel my throat closing up, I can't cry my makeup off though. I pull myself together and take a deep breath "I don't want people walking on eggshells around me, that's my biggest fear out of all of this" I tell Jonas honestly "you can't really avoid it kid. I'm sure everyone will just be more calm and patient with you but no one will treat you too differently" Jonas assures me "and Bax" I whisper under my breath.