Clover hearted

Forget me not

In this chapter I tried to capture moments in time as vividly as possible, I would write about things right after/right as they happened.
TW: Substance addiction

Darling
The drink has already been poured, and honey, this poem has already been written.
Put months, AA meetings, rehabs, therapy appointments, and prayers between us, you always find your way back to me.
Sweetheart, I love you, but you don't get sober, it hurts to see you try.
How many silver 24-hour chips do you own?
I love you honey and I wish you would stop pretending to leave me.

Of course
"Do you happen to remember me?" I look up my shoes to see the man I once was looking back at me, his hair is messy, he wears a green sweater and a light around him.
"Of course I do"
I pause and make eye contact for the first time. "How do I return to what once was?"
"You can't." He pauses for a moment. "You can only move forward with lessons learned."
"How can I feel like myself again?"
"Let's go for a walk."
He stands taller than me and tucks his hair behind his ears, he opens the pale yellow front door for me, "After you my good sir."
I look up from the ground and towards suburbia.
"Come with me." I follow him.
"Elliot, how can I feel like myself again? How can I make what I am today another story of days past?"
It's quiet. I look at the houses and trees and paved streets.
"There's a lot I could say to you right now. You know that right?"
"Of course I do."
"Stay sober, you are only yourself if you are sober, if you are lucky enough to have stopped don't fucking start again. Remember why you quit, don't ever forget that."
"I know this."
"Of course you do."
"There's more than that."
"Of course there is." "Talk to people. People like you for what you are and you love them for what they are. Connect with those you care about." "Keep writing right about daydreams and vomiting in the rehab bathroom. Write obsessively. Write no matter what."
"You know I like that last one."
"Of course you do"
I watch the home fade into the background only to be replaced with more homes that look the same but different. Children ride their bikes, dogs bark, the sun shines.
"You're going to return home to yourself Elliot."