Falling For You

023

Zuri

It had been three weeks, and I still hadn't told Lee about Naomi despite the fact that me and Naomi had been texting. It was nothing bad or flirtatious, though. We would usually send each other funny memes and text based on whatever was sent, but I couldn't shake off the feeling that Lee should know about Naomi.

However, this was where doubt would creep in. Things were going so good with Lee, and I didn't want to cause any issues between us. I would never trade my relationship with Lee for anything because for the first time, I was genuinely happy with someone. I loved Lee. At the same time, I didn't want to keep something like this away from her. It shouldn't be a problem, right? We weren't together yet, so it shouldn't be a problem... right?

I sighed.

Lee was out right now getting some groceries for the house, plus she mentioned she knew my period was coming and that we were out of pads and tampons. I bit my lip nervously. I had to tell her when she was back.

It felt like forever before I heard Lee pull up to our driveway. At this point, I was making some shrimp fried rice for dinner. Lee usually loved when I made it.

"Hey, babe," Lee came in with bags in her hands.

"Hey!" I moved to where she stood, helping her set the bags down on the island counter and kissing her lips softly.

She kissed my forehead, "I'll be right back, I'm just going to change."

I watched her leave the kitchen and I bit my lip nervously again. Maybe it won't be as bad as I was thinking.

Lee came down shortly in an oversized tee. Her hair was pulled up in a bun, and her lips shone with clear lipgloss.

"You always look good in those," I smiled at her, and she grinned in response, hugging me from behind, "Thank you. It smells bloody lovely in here. Shrimp fried rice?"

"Mhm. One of your favourites," I nodded before swallowing, "Bailey?"

"Bailey? When did you start calling me Bailey?" She asked, and I turned to face her, attempting to smile, "Isn't that your government name?"

"Exactly," she chuckled. "But to you, it's Lee."

"I need to tell you something," I bit my lower lip.

"What's up?" Her face was blank. It was one of those expressions that were hard to read because they didn't say anything.

"Remember when I told you I needed space?" I started, and she nodded, "Yeah. It was after the whole thing with Luna. I remember."

"Yeah," I nodded, feeling my confidence start to fail, "You left the house for a couple of days."

"Mhm," Lee nodded.

"One of those nights... I needed to get out of the house because my anxiety was through the roof. Uh, I, uh, went to this club-"

"You went to a club?" She seemed surprised which was understandable. I was a homebody who loved to stay in. The only time I would really go out was if Lee was there.

"Yeah," I nodded, my voice coming out in a whisper. "A-at this club... um, I- there was this-" I felt stuck and I couldn't say it out. Not when it was so clear Lee wasn't definitely expecting to hear what I was about to say. She had such a calm, patient look on her face that almost broke me.

"Zuri?" I heard her call softly.

"I kissed another- I made out with someone else." I blurted.

My heart broke at the look on Lee's face. She looked frozen.

"What?" was her response when she finally spoke up. It was almost inaudible.

"I'm sorry, Lee," I felt tears well up in my eyes, "I'm sorry. I'd been home for a while, and it felt like hell, that's why I went. I didn't know where you were-"

"You asked for space, Zuri," her voice sounded thick as though she was about to cry, but there were no tears in her eyes.

"I know I did, but not like that," I told her.

"So that makes it all okay? You wouldn't even speak to me while I was still here," She looked at me in disbelief. "I gave you space you requested for, you were upset, so you just went to a club and kissed someone else? I need you to help me make sense of that."

"We weren't together at the time, Lee," I retorted weakly, and that was when I saw anger flash in Lee's eyes, "Again, that makes it okay? Are you kidding me, Zuri? You knew how I felt about you!"

"Lee..." my heart was sinking with every passing second. I knew I'd hurt Lee deeply because it was written all over her face. Her once bright eyes were dull and glistening with tears, and her lips were pressed back together as if trying to keep her emotions at bay.

"It doesn't matter if we were together or not," she spoke quietly as if she wanted it to sink in, "It's that we both knew how we felt about each other already. We had just one misunderstanding, Zuri. You wanted time to yourself, and I gave you that even though it hurt. It's that there was already an understanding between us. It's that there were already all these investments of time and emotions into what we had despite the fact that we weren't officially together yet. It's that with everything that happened prior, I was already feeling inadequate and undeserving of you, and you just happened to seek affection somewhere else. Don't you get it?"

I felt sick to my stomach, "I know I've hurt you, Lee, and I just want to say that I'm so sorry -"

"Nah, it's okay," she shrugged before leaving the kitchen.

Bailey

I had to make sure I wasn't being too dramatic or emotional about this, but regardless of how many times I thought about what Zuri told me, I could only see reasons why she should not have kissed someone else.

Who was it, even?

My mind travelled back to Luna, and I remembered what it felt like after finding out she was seeing someone else. It felt like that, but this time, it hurt a little less. Maybe it was me being desensitised to this kind of stuff, I wasn't sure, but I still felt hurt.

There was a small knock on my door, "Lee?"

Zuri came in shortly. There was a bowl in her hand, but I also noticed that her eyes were slightly pink and glassy.

"I brought your dinner," her voice was so soft, it confirmed to me that she'd been crying.

"I'm not hungry," and that was the truth. I had no appetite.

"You haven't had enough to eat today," was her response.

"I'm alright, I promise," I told her honestly and watched her swallow, "Okay."

I watched her leave, and I couldn't explain the feeling that came over me. It was a feeling of love for her. A feeling of wanting to call her back and just jold her. At the same time, hurt lingered, and so I let her leave the room.