𝐯𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐧'𝐬 𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥

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which happens to be silly incorrect quotes featuring everyone's lovable alchemist and this fic because I just came home at 8 in the night <3

also beware of spoilers

and offensive humor and language

and it's a day late, sorry.

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Cassandra: When I first met you, I thought you were weird and annoying.
Eugene: And?
Cassandra: And you are.

...

[Mother's Name]: [Name], get that hideous thing out of the room, would you? accusing fingers at Ruddiger
[Name]: Mom, Varian wants you to get out of his house.

...

[Name] and Varian in future chapters: Quitting! It's like trying, but easier.

...

[Name]: I love murder mysteries!
Varian, trying to impress them: I've been a suspect in four murder cases.

...

Varian: You love me, right?
[Name]: Normally I'd say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won't like.

...

after the unfortunate events of queen for a day
The fandom: Go to sleep or you'll hate yourself in the morning!
Varian: I'll hate myself in the morning regardless.

...

any crazy accidents that occured
Quirin: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on in here?!
Everyone: It's kind of complicated, but Varian-
Quirin: Got it. Forget I asked.

...

Eugene: it's illegal to look better than me.
Cassandra: I guess we're all going to jail then.

...

Varian: There is no future. There is no past. Don't you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every fact.
Rapunzel: ...All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

...

spoilers
[Name]: Hey.
Varian: pissed off You... complete ...ASS! You show up here after WEEKS, and you say "hey"?!

...

Cassandra: What's this?
Rapunzel, hugging Cassandra: Affection!
Cassandra: Disgusting.
Cassandra: ...Do it again.

...

Varian: Firstly, how dare you use mathematics to make me look stupid!
Varian: I'm actually very good at mathematics.
Varian: Thirdly, I think you might be right.

𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 ; varianWhere stories live. Discover now