blue // han jisung ✔️

chapter one

PSA: the "idols" mentioned here that are not jisung/any other member of skz are completely made up characters. please don't compare them to other real life idols you may know.

trauma

"jisung— jisung, hey, listen to me!"

"huh? what? i'm sorry..." jisung replies half heartedly.

"what's gotten into you? we need to finish this song."

"no, i know, sorry i'm just—"

"what did i tell you about talking to him like that." you couldn't help it as you stepped in between the two boys, glaring sharply at the other.

"jisung, get your dog." he rolls his eyes at you.

"jay, come on. we talked about this." jisung steps in to defend you.

"right. you're more like a puppy, all bark, no bite." jay retorts, cocking his eyebrow at you.

"come on, jisung. we're leaving." you only roll your eyes, turning around to grab your things.

"seriously? this song isn't gonna finish itself." jay retorts, watching as the two of you start to pack your things.

"good thing you're still here." you reply with a sly smile.

"bitch." jay mutters underneath his breath, of course you heard it, but you were over it at this point. he had been running jisung through the wringer, using his writing talents to give him song after song, without giving him the proper credit.

you had tried for ages to get jisung to stop writing for him, but jisung insisted that this was his way to get his foot in the door. working with a famous idol means you know people, and that's how you make it in the industry. but you knew this was taking a lot out on him. his anxiety attacks were more frequent, and he was zoning out a lot more lately. you were worried for him.

only you couldn't exactly be much help. where stress was jisung's trigger, worry was yours. and when jisung was stressed, you were worried. the two of you were like ticking time bombs, waiting for one to go off before the other does the same.

but the two of you understood each other, and in the end, that's all that mattered, because neither of you had ever met anyone else who could understand. it just didn't seem plausible.

"are you okay?" you ask jisung once the two of you stepped out into the cold seoul air.

"fine." he shrugs, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "just thinking about how to apologize to jay."

"you don't." you deadpan.

"i have to, he's technically my boss."

"he's an asshole."

"maybe. but you don't always get to work with nice people." jisung shrugs.

"there are people who would beg you to write songs if they knew your talent. i'm sure of it" you tell him confidently.

"you're my best friend, you have to say that." he chuckles, rolling his eyes playfully.

"no, but as your best friend, i am required to tell you when you're wasting your time with someone." you remark, pointing a finger at him. "all i'm saying is that jay is not gonna be the one that makes or breaks you." you add, jisung only silently nodding in response. it's not that he was annoyed, he just knew that he had to let you get it all out. and of course, he wanted to hear what you had to say. he's always valued your opinion, even though he doesn't always listen to it. "i mean, i don't know who, but you can't just expect someone like that to just walk in— ouch!"

"shit! i am so sorry!" a heavy accented voice fills your ears as you back away from them, groaning in pain with your hand over your head. "are you okay?" the voice speaks again. you finally open your eyes, jisung taking your hand away from your head as he worriedly scans you for injuries. "i'm sorry i wasn't even paying attention." he apologizes.

"it's fine, neither was she." jisung speaks for you, chuckling slightly once he made sure you were okay. you send him a slight glare before making eye contact with the man you ran into.

"hey, i know you!" you exclaim, recalling his very familiar features. the man looked confused for a moment, looking over to jisung for clarification.

"uh... how do you know him?" jisung asks, giving the other man no clarification.

"he's a rapper! i mean— not like a famous one— no offense, but i've heard him rap before! he's actually pretty good!" you ramble to jisung as if the man in question wasn't still standing right in front of you.

"oh you've heard me rap? you don't look like the type who would care for underground rappers." he chuckles awkwardly.

"i don't know what you mean by that." you cock an eyebrow, feigning a serious expression.

"i— i didn't mean it in a bad way i just—"

"chill, she's fucking with you." jisung rolls his eyes, gently shoving you as he calmed the man down.

"o-oh..." he stutters.

"anyway, he has a weird stage name. it's like some kind of code, i don't know." you shrug, going back to rambling to jisung.

"cb97." the man speaks.

"yeah that. what's that mean?" you ask him.

"it stands for my name and the year i was born." he explains.

"oh shit— an elder."

"be nice!" jisung gasps. "i'm sorry about that. don't take her seriously." he apologizes for you.

"noted." the man laughs.

"jisung's a really good rapper himself, honestly better than you i would say." you tell the man. "though that other friend you rap with sometimes definitely has potential." you ponder.

"changbin? yeah he's really good." he agrees.

"no, i'm pretty sure he's name was like shakespeare or something..." you trail off.

"spearb. it's his rapper name. real name is changbin." he chuckles.

"that is significantly less cool." you pout, earning a laugh from the two boys.

"well, jisung, if you ever wanna join us, we've got room for one more." the man suggests.

"oh? i'll um... i'll think about it... cb—"

"you can just call me chan." he laughs, sticking his hand out for jisung to shake.

"got it. i'll think about it, chan." jisung smiles as he shakes chan's hand.

"that is also significantly less cool of a name."