1D dr: "The story of my life"

Chapter 11: I hate the weekend 'cause nobodys calling.

Harry had been distant with us (specially with me) since we kissed that night. I didn't know what was wrong now and that kept me worried.
I woke up two days after on the tour bus. It was quite early so none of the boys were up.
I prepared myself a coffee and went out to take some fresh morning air, alone.

But then, I felt an arm grabbing slowly my waist and pulling me close.

"Morning, my Lily".

I, scared, startle.

"Harry, you scared me"

"Sorry".

"It's okay".

"What are you doing here this early?".

"Wanted to think. And you?

"Needed to see you".—And he kissed me.

"Oh".

"Lily?"

Yeah, that really didn't happen.

"Lily!".

"Fuck Liam! What?!"

"I was asking... are you okay?"

"No...yes. Yes".—I turned around to leave the room but he stopped me.

"What's up Li?"

"Nothing."

"Yeah sure. Lily come on. You haven't really talked since your 'date'. What happened?"

"It was incredible but I guess it was just a stupid dream".

"Explain yourself."

"We kissed, we danced, it was magical but it ended, and he disappeared like a ghost."

"Oh Lily I'm sorry. He hasn't talked to us either."

"Something's wrong with him but as it seems that he doesn't want to tell us, I won't ask. I won't press him. Anyways, what should I do?"

"I can't answer that for you Lils, I'm sorry. But don't overthink it too much, follow your heart."

"I don't think I can do that Liam. I guess I'll move on and focus on my career."

"As long as your happy, it's okay for me."

He kisses my forehead—"Gotta go now, remember we have soundcheck for tonight's concert."

(...)

After the concert, we went to a club to party all together. As it was the end of the Europe tour, I didn't really care about what was gonna happen the following day. And I drank, I drank too much.

Met a guy, Dani. He didn't seem like the rest. He was kind and chill but fun at the same time. I promised myself I would move on so I said yes when he asked me on a date. It was quite strange for me 'cause I had never been seen that way, the boys at school never looked at me. I guess Dani made me feel special. But trust me, I didn't realise it wasn't Dani's charming personality (sarcasm), it was all the wine and beer I drank that night.

Our date was on Friday, he was supposed to pick me up at 7. All the boys told me they would be out, except from Harry, who didn't say nothing at all, so I was relaxed about it. I just wanted to chill, to have a nice night with a guy I found interesting and forget all the shit that was going on recently.

So, I got ready. I went for a blue dress which makes my eyes look more blue, high dark heels and my hair down, as usual. Simple makeup: blush, mascara and a pink gloss. Someone I love once told me I looked pretty without any makeup... Didn't I told y'all I was gonna move on?

It was 7:10. The minutes kept going and nobody called. This was not the first time I'm all dress up for a Friday night date and they stand me up. That's something I would never understand. If you don't like me, call to cancel, but don't mess up with me.

So it went, all dressed up but with nowhere to go, crying alone in the dark, another Friday night tryna put on a show. Sometimes I wish weekends didn't exist. I do hate the weekend 'cause nobody's calling. Is it selfish of me to say that?
I was gutted. To be honest, i felt this was a sign, not even the universe liked me.
I was crying sitting on the floor, mascara running down my face, again, still wearing my favourite dress but the heels weren't on anymore. It was already 9 or 10pm. But then, someone entered the room.

"Sorry for not knocking, but I won't be any other minute hearing you cry."

Yeah, it was him. He sat down next to me.

"Oh, so now you talk. And I thought you weren't here, though."—I said still hidden between my knees.

"I'm sorry, I really am".

"Just... tell me why. Why are you doing this to me? Don't you think I've had enough! I don't understand what I did to you to deserve this, Harry."

"You did nothing, okay!"—At this point we were both yelling and crying a bit.

"Then why do you ignore me as if we didn't kiss. You don't give those to a friend Harry, but right now, I'm afraid, I don't know if I can even consider you a friend."
"Please don't say that, I need you in my life, at least as a friend."

"At least? So you still like me?"

"Lily I don't like you, I love you."

I was kinda shocked. There was a bit of silence.

"I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. I don't think I had ever been in love, I realised when I first saw you. I never understood what love was really like but I felt it for the first time looking in your eyes."

"Wow."

"I don't need you to say it back, it's obvious you don't feel the same, but I need to have you in my life. Who's gonna remind you how amazing  you are then? Please Lily, give me another opportunity."

I was really confused, I had many thoughts in mind and now this. What now? I was having something like a panic attack and he obviously noticed. He saw I was tearing up and he hugged me from the side, the way he does, from my waist. I again put my head on his chest and tried to breath at the same time as him.

"Everything is all right, my Lily, don't worry. We'll be alright, but I need you to be okay now".

We stayed there a few minutes more until I finished crying. Then, he took me to my bed.
He made sure I was well inside it and he was about to leave my room, but, as he was walking away I...

"I do love you Harry, more that you or anyone can imagine. I was scared of you leaving me. I can't lose anybody else, I need you too, at least as a friend. I been trying to find the words but i really can't. When I'm with you everything comes out easily, I guess. Just answer one more question, and I'll leave you. Why did you stop talking if you still love me?"

"It's not because of you, it's me. I have so much shit right now and the only thing that 'controlled' me, what made me feel okay through that, was you, only you."

"I feel the same."

"When I'm nervous at the concerts, knowing that you're there relaxes me. I wouldn't make it without you. Not even the boys have that magical thing you do."

"I still don't understand."

"I acted like a jerk, I know, but I just didn't want to ruin our relationship. I was scared of starting something with you and ruining it for my stupid thoughts."

"They're not stupid, don't say that. We all have them, it's something we can't avoid. If you feel better knowing it, you help me control my anxiety. Nobody does it the way you do. I feel differently."

"I feel protected around you".—We say at the same time.

He runs up to me and hugs me again.

"Let's not do this again, please"—I say.

"It's a promise".

(...)
We fell asleep in my bed.
I'm glad Dani didn't come, I guess I solved things out with Harry.
I still love him, but not just as friends. Did I just say that? Wow.