"Dear Hiatus..." (Sequel to A Living Hell) // Fall Out Boy

I Sing A Bitter Song (Patrick's POV)

"Elisa?!" I shouted as I ran into our house, which looked the same as the last time I saw it. "Elisa! I'm home! I'm alive!" I shouted again, dropping everything in the doorway, nearly sobbing from how happy I was to actually be home. "Elisa! Please, where are you?!"

I ran down the hallway, looking in every room I possibly could. I ran into the backyard, looking behind the shed, searching through the garden. I couldn't find Elisa anywhere, or our baby. I fell to my knees on the deck, crying into my hands, screaming for her, screaming for her that I'm still alive. 

All I could think is that she left. She left me and she took our baby with her. She probably thought I was dead, she probably thought she should move on with her life, since I was gone. She didn't love me anymore, she'd moved on. That was the only logical answer, after all.

"Elisa, please," I whispered, sobbing some more. "Please, where are you?"

I lifted my head and looked back into the house, looking down the hallway towards the front door. Elisa walked through it, holding our baby in her arms. A smile crept onto my face, but as I started to get up to run to her, a man came through the door behind her, closing it behind him. He smiled at the two of them, gently rubbing the baby's cheek, then he leaned down and kissed Elisa's forehead. My heart landed in my feet and I fell to my knees again.

I lost my life and I lost my wife.

------------------------

"Patrick!" I heard a female voice say as I was being shaken awake. "Patrick, wake up!"

I jolted awake, breathing heavily and sweating. I looked over to my left. Elisa was laying in the bed, a scared look on her face, and the sound of Declan crying was coming through the baby monitor. 

"Baby, are you okay?" she asked, hugging me tightly, rubbing my hair. 

"I-I," was all I could get out before I broke down in her arms. 

This was the fourth night in a row that I'd been having these awful nightmares. The first night was about Courtney, then second night was about me finding the guys dead from Courtney, the third night was about Courtney killing me, and then tonight was about Elisa leaving me. I hadn't been sleeping nearly at all, because every time I closed my eyes, there was just these continuous scenarios playing in my head. They were things that had happened to me, to the guys and me, to my family - and they were all because of Courtney. 

"Baby, we're getting you back to your therapist. I can't stand to see you like this anymore," Elisa said, gently stroking my hair. "I'll be right back, I'm going to go get Declan." 

She kissed my forehead, then ran out of the room to go comfort our screaming baby. I sat in bed, my knees pulled to my chest, my head resting in my hands. There was no way I was going to attempt to sleep again. In the past four days, I had maybe gotten a total of ten hours of sleep. I was too scared to close my eyes, during the day and at night. If I slept during the day, I always had to have Elisa or someone near me that I trusted. The nightmares aren't so bad during the day; they really act up at night, and that's when I really can't sleep, even if there is someone near me. Courtney's made it impossible for me to do nearly anything.

I sat in bed, still, trying to calm myself down while I waited for Elisa to come back. I could still hear Declan whining through the baby monitor, but he had calmed down for the most part. I took a deep breath, then reached for my phone plugging in on my nightstand. My shaky hands searched through my contacts until I found Andy's number. I hit call and put my phone up to my ear.

"Patrick?" he asked, his voice sounding more awake than I expected it to, considering it was nearing two am. "Can't sleep?"

"N-No," I said. "I can't sleep at all. I woke up from another nightmare again. I'm so exhausted, but I'm too scared to sleep. Andy, I don't know what to do. I can't function like this. I can't keep going on like this. I'm too tired and exhausted to function. I just sit around all day, because there's nothing I can do besides be with Elisa and Declan. I'm so lost and I don't know who to talk to!" I explained, nearly in tears again.

"Patrick, Joe and I have been the same way. Joe's been worse, like I thought, but we're both acting the same. We've barely been sleeping, we're so lost. The FC guys have tried to help, but they're at a loss, too. I was thinking of getting Joe and I back in to see our therapist, like we went to the first time. Joe never stopped going, actually. He was still seeing his therapist when we started Monumentour. We set up videochat times and everything. He never recovered from the first time, and this last time just fucked him all up again. I'm worried about him, about you, Pete, too. I think we should all meet back up soon and go to a group therapy session so we can get through this together," he said.

"Elisa brought therapy up, too. She can't handle seeing me like this, it kills her. But I like your idea. Can you guys come stay here? You know we've got plenty of room here, for you and Joe and Pete," I asked.

"I think that would be best. Can we come this weekend?" Andy asked.

"Sure, Elisa and I can get the guest rooms ready. C-Can you call Pete and ask him?" I asked.

"Sure. I'm sure he'll be on board, so we'll see you and the family in a couple days, okay?" he said.

"Alright, see you soon. Love you guys," I said.

"We love you too, Pat. And remember - hang in there. You're a lot stronger than you think," he said, then he hung up.

As I put my phone back on the table, Elisa came back in, quietly closing the bedroom door behind her. She crawled into bed and sat next to me, pulling me into her arms. She gently kissed my forehead again, then stroked my hair.

"Is it okay if the guys come here this weekend?" I asked.

"Of course, is that who you were talking to?" she asked.

"Yeah, I called Andy. I thought he could help calm me down until you got back. Anyway, they're coming this weekend so we can all go to therapy together. We thought it would be best to work it out together," I said.

"I think that's a good idea. Whatever helps you guys. I hate to see you all like this, but especially you. Seeing you hurt hurts me. I just want you to be okay again," she said, hugging me tightly.

"I want to be able to be the Patrick I used to be, the one who made you happy," I said.

"Patrick, you always make me happy. Don't ever think you don't. I love you more than you'll ever know," Elisa said.

"How, though? For christ's sake, I missed the birth of our first child, I can't sleep, I keep you awake with all my problems when you're already tired from taking care of Declan, I'm not here for you as much as I used to be, I have so many things going through my fucking head that drive me insane. Elisa, I'm a pathetic excuse for a man, for a husband. I don't even know why you-you're still wi-with me," I explained, breaking down in her lap again.

"Hey, hey, hey," she said, hugging me tightly again. "Don't you ever think anything you're thinking right now. Patrick, I love you so much. I don't care what you've been through. You're still the amazing person I fell in love with all those years ago. I know you're going through a tough time, but you're not in this alone. I will be behind you whenever you need me. I will be here to hold you when you cry, to comfort you whenever you need me. You're not the burden you're making yourself out to be. Not at all. Patrick, I love you so much. Nothing is ever going to change that. All the shit that happened, you can't blame yourself for it. You need to blame that piece of shit Courtney for all of this. We're going to fight this. We won't go until she's fucking dead. I've looked it up, Louisiana has the death penalty. Patrick, we're not going to stop until she's literally dead," Elisa explained.

"H-How did I ever g-get so lucky to-o have you?" I asked, hugging her tightly. "I appreciate everything you do for me, I hope you know that. Thank you for just staying with me through all this shit. And I hope you mean that, that we won't stop until Courtney is dead. She deserves it."

"Baby, of course I mean it. I know that seems a little extreme, but no one fucks with my husband and his best friends and gets away with it. I'll do anything to help you through this," she said, kissing me gently.

"I love you so much," I said.

------------------

Please vote?? c:

eh, kind of a shitty chapter, but at least I'm trying to update more!! I really thought I should let you guys get an inside view on Patrick's family. 

Just so you know, this book is almost over ... *ducks down so no one hits me*

anyWAY MY FALL OUT BOY BOYS OF ZUMMER DATE IS IN TWOOOO DAAAAYS IN CHICAGO! IM SO FREAKING EXCITED