If they are scared of you, I will remind their fragile humanity of your beauty🧸

2. Telling a story is easier than a real life disaster 🌑

(Hiiii🫠💗✨️ how are you doing ? I hope that bestest you can 🫂✨️ it is so easy for me to write those 5k words as  I have so much ideas for this story and I hope that those 5k will be enjoyable for you😭🥹 thank you for all the love this fic already got 💗 wishing you a good reading ✨️ take care 💗 love you 💗)

(TW : vomit, Porchay thinks for some seconds how easy it can be to hurt himself but he won't do anything)

“You're…what?” Kim asks him, looking more surprised than weirded. Porchay doesn’t witness any sigh of anger and he feels a little reassured.

“I-” His voice breaks, he has no will anymore in waiting for another push out of someone's personal space. He doesn't want to face this. He can just walk and look down so no one will be able to witness his existence.

Their existence.

He closes his heart again. They aren’t here, it is only him for now, only him.

Porchay's throat is strangled suddenly, a painful sound coming out of it. He is shaking again and he hates to still act the same in front of someone he barely knows. His state is surely bothering Kim. And his blurry vision is not anymore when he feels a handkerchief wiping his tears.

“Don't cry anymore…tears are not as pretty as poetry wants us to think…it can be but you are suffering and I prefer smiles.”

“Why…why don't you…laugh…or treat me like a liar?”

Kim is wiping his second cheeks while biting his lips. “I won’t lie… I am having a hard time understanding…it is really out of any rules. But why would you invent such a lie ? Or you need help…”

“I don’t…I promise…” Porchay says, his shaking hand reaching for Kim's  finger, still near his cheeks. “I- would love for it to be a lie. A mistake. But I took so many tests…and I- even…saw doctors…can't they call me and tell me that it's an error? They might have mistaken on the screen…” Porchay knows that he sounds crazy, as if he is talking to himself. He is panicking as always.

“Porchay.” Kim says, letting go of his hand. And his heart begins to close on itself. “I don't know… To be honest it's hard to believe you…I think that you can understand it… But I am not thinking that you are lying either… I am giving you the benefit of the doubt…”

Porchay nods. This answer is even better than what he would have thought.

“This is…kind…”

“This isn't Porchay. I am just trying to understand you… and if you need…a place to come drink a hot chocolate, the door is opened. Always.”

“Thank you…” The boy ducks his head down before walking away. Fast. He needs to hide at home. He needs and he tries to be as small as he can be.

He is aware that Kim didn’t react like Bom but he still can't believe this situation. As much as he understands it, he feels lonelier. He is the only one with that thing inside and he knows. He feels that it is his reality.

He can't stand it. He can't at all.

He feels that his life is ending. It won't ever be the same. Time will pass. His stomach will grow, he won't be able to hide it. His life will definitely change, definitely, and even if he doesn't keep the child, even if he doesn't think about this first it won’t change the inevitable truth : he would have given birth.

His body. His mind. They will remember it. He won't be able to forget or to erase this.

Porchay is having difficulties breathing. He is shaking. The glass he was keeping in his hands is falling on the ground. The boy looks at it. It can be so easy to hurt himself.