Phoenix

Chapter 26

 Marcus' POV:

 I sat in my office, Loraina sitting on my lap. I had my arms around her as I took in her scent, trying to calm myself.

 "Marc, I said he was fine." Kyle remarked. He was sitting in a chair in front of the desk. "You don't need to worry, bro!"

 "How can I not worry when my Beta and friend is crying?! He doesn't cry, Kyle! You know his past as well as I do. How can I not be worried about him??" I exclaimed.

 "Marcus...It's alright...If there were something to worry about, Kyle would have said something. Luke is ok. I'm sure of it." Loraina spoke softly.

 I nodded slowly. At that moment, a knock sounded on the door before it slowly opened. Luke walked in slowly and bowed his head in respect. "I'm sorry, Marcus, for walking out the way I did..."

 I stared at him like he was nuts. He seemed....different...It's hard to explain, but Luke was definitely...different somehow...His aura had changed. He seemed almost...nervous and timid. 

 I cleared my throat before standing up. "It's alright, Luke. I understand. You needed a minute to yourself. We all need that sometimes." I smiled at him reassuringly. Luke nodded slowly. "Why don't you sit down...?" I offered. Luke again nodded and sat down on a couch I have in here. I gave a small, satisfied smile before sitting back down. "Do you want to talk about your flashbacks now...?" I asked cautiously. 

 Loraina looked at me warningly before looking at Luke. "You don't have to if you don't feel comfortable-"

 "It's ok..." Kyle, Lori, and I stared at my Beta, our eyes wide in shock. Did I hear him right?? "I'll tell you..." Luke wasn't looking at us. He was looking down at his lap.

 I gave a small frown. "Are you sure you want to, Luke? You don't have to. You know that. I know I push you sometimes but-"

 "It's ok. You deserve to know....I'll...I'll try..." Luke interrupted. His voice was quieter than usual. He sighed heavily, playing with his hands. 

 I could see he was feeling tense and nervous. I didn't like that. I glanced at Kyle, who frowned. He didn't like it either. We stood up and walked over before sitting down on either side of him. Loraina sat down on the arm of the couch.

 "Whenever your ready, my friend....We're here to listen..." I said softly. Luke looked up at me. I was half surprised at the small smile that adorned his face at my words. I looked away, a small frown on my face. Perhaps I don't call him 'friend' enough...Oh, Luke...What are we doing to you??

 Luke looked back down and took a deep breath. "Darnell was the reason I had flashbacks that day..." My eyes went wide. I growled, anger rising in my chest. Did that phoenix dare to hurt my Beta and friend?? "Marcus, calm down. He didn't hurt me. He just....reminded me of my past...His and Bethany's relationship reminded me of my past..." He groaned, running his fingers through his hair. "And, actually...A lot of things trigger breakdowns more than I let on..."

 I stared at him in shock. What?! He's telling me that he has breakdowns a lot more often than we think?! I could feel Loraina squeezing my hand tightly. I took a deep breath trying to calm myself.

 "Why didn't you ever say anything?" Kyle asked. 

 Luke gave a small scoff. "I didn't want anyone to worry. Especially Amelia and especially lately...She doesn't need me to add to her stress. I just....I thought I could handle this on my own...But I can't...."

 "And you don't have to, Luke...You don't have to hide your feelings from us...We're your friends...We care about you..." Loraina spoke up softly.

 "I guess after growing up the way I did...Constantly being reminded of my background...Constantly being reminded I'm just a weak, useless pathetic waste of space-"

 "I don't ever want to hear those words out of your mouth again, Luke!" I exclaimed. He looked up at me. "You are not weak or useless. And you are most definitely not a pathetic waste of space. You are Beta Luke. Our best friend. You are a great friend and a good Beta. I couldn't ask for a better man than you."

 "You grew up with people who....never bothered to give you a chance....You were just a little boy but I guess some people just didn't care...You weren't responsible for your mother's mistakes...You never did anything wrong..." Lori said gently.

 "Except be born apparently..."

 "Enough, Luke!" I snapped.

 "Marcus." Kyle glanced at me. I sighed deeply and remained silent. "Lori is right...You never did anything wrong...People may have disliked you and mistreated you, but you don't have to wish you were never born...Things would be a lot different right now without you..."

 "Yea. You wouldn't have to worry about me and my flashbacks. And the pack wouldn't have a cold Beta who doesn't care...Some of the pack members are...scared of me..." Luke mumbled.

 "Luke, that's enough!"

 "Marcus.." Lori looked at me. 

 "No, Lori." I declared before looking at my Beta. "Look at me, Luke." he slowly looked up at me. "You know as well as I do that you care about this pack. They're scared of you because they don't know any better. They never bothered to get to know you. Without you, we wouldn't have such a great Beta as our best friend...Without you, Amelia wouldn't have her mate and she most certainly wouldn't be pregnant right now. Without you, Bethany would've had to tend to Darnell herself. You helped her tend to Darnell, Luke. You help this pack in many ways. You know as well as I do that there's more to you than what people see..."

 Luke sighed and nodded slowly. "I guess sometimes I can't help but wonder...I've become so different from the little kid I was back in the orphanage....The little kid who would always go hide in a corner, crying. The little kid who would watch the others play while I'm sitting there all alone...The little kid who always tried to remain positive and kind...The little kid who always tried to be helpful, though it ended up with me in pain most of the time...The little kid who always had big dreams growing up..." Luke gave a small scoff. "I always wanted to get out of that nightmare of a life....Who knew I'd have to give up so much in order to have everything I wanted? I have the life I dreamed of....I'm happy...But.."

 "You feel like something's missing?" Lori asked quietly.

 "I know that sounds selfish...I don't mean to be..." Luke mumbled, his head in his hands.

 "You aren't being selfish...We understand..." Kyle said softly. 

 "I just want to feel something...Be someone I'm not anymore...I can't go back no matter how much I try....No matter how much I want to...No matter what, my past will always exist...It'll always come back to haunt me..." Luke stated. 

 I frowned and pulled him into my embrace. He tensed up, seeming shocked. He looked up at me his eyes wide. I gave him a small smile. "I know we can't change the past....I wish so badly that we could sometimes....But, what we can do, is focus on the present....We can help you...You may never go back to the cheerful, talkative boy you were before. But we can help you become better...If you'll only let us..." Luke looked down, not saying a word. 

 Loraina put her hand on my shoulder before taking Luke's hand with her other hand. "What do you say, Luke? Will you let us in?"

 For a long time, Luke didn't say anything. Loraina kept holding his hand in hers, I kept him in my embrace. Kyle had placed his hand on Luke's shoulder. Finally, we heard Luke's husky reply. "Yes..."