ฉันก็รักคุณ [I Love You Too]

Jeff

So he liked girls. Ta liked girls. He was straight. Ta was straight as one could get. He liked girls with long hair, family oriented, funny, and shorter than him. Everything that I wasn't and best factor against me, I wasn't a girl.

I don't know why I was stunned to find out he likes girls. I should have seen it coming despite him acting in a bl. It didn't mean anything. For some reason, I always thought he liked guys and that Apo was his kind or even Barcode. But to find out he likes girls. Was enough for me to go on an internal monologue about and clearly having shut him out as suddenly I drifted back to reality with him shaking and looking at me curiously.

"Phi, are you ok? I been calling you for a bit now."

"Yes, Ta. Sorry. I was just thinking about work. What's up?"

"Nothing. I just said thank you for the snack and asked if you wanted a drink."

I shook my head, insisting I was fine.

"Where's the bowl?"

"I washed it, Phi. Why?"

I nagged at him slightly, making sure he knew I was to do the chores, and I just wanted him to rest. He laughed at me as he patted my hand gently.

"I have to play my part too, Phi. Can't be staying here without doing my bit, too."

"I need you to rest your arm and be completely well. So it's ok. Plus, I don't mind. All these chores are really nothing."

"Your boyfriend in the future is indeed lucky, Phi. You are so sweet."

I just smiled, suddenly painfully aware that when he mentioned the word boyfriend, he came to mind. Shit.

I turned to him, determined that we make the best out of his stay here. We decided to watch movies till about 2am before finally retiring to bed.

The next few days was as such. I would make his meals for him before going to work. I would usually come back around 7pm having rearranged my schedule for that few days. Ta would have done some little chores, watching some movies and trying out the guitar.

We would usually have dinner together and then he would sleep whilst I worked on my music. This went on till Thursday when it was time for his doctor visit. The doctor was pleased with his progress as he had recovered well. The doctor also stressed the importance of continuing to eat well as that had done wonders for his recovery. He nodded quietly, taking it all in.

As we left the clinic, I looked over at him.

"You can always come over for dinner if you want. My doors are always open for you and I can make sure you are eating well."

"That's very sweet of you Phi but I cannot be bothering you as such. Don't worry, I promise to make sure I will eat properly."

I nodded and finally we reached my place. Ta collected his stuff and left though I had to admit, even if he didn't want to leave, I was ok. I had grown used to having him around and I knew it was going to hit me harder this time around.

I watched as he went off and I turned to my apartment, painfully aware that this 2 bedroom place suddenly seemed so big and ugh, less homely. I went back in and was trying to prep lunch for myself but memories of Ta kept plaguing me the whole afternoon. How he would sit swinging his feet on my bar stools as I prepped lunch for us. He could really chat non stop and that left a void now.

I just sighed softly, rubbing my face tiredly as I continued prepping lunch. I was looking for a drink in my fridge when I saw some beer cans and he came to mind again. Fuck this. Ugh.

I just grabbed my bowl of salad and sat down, eating quietly. I looked over at my guitar and just took it, strumming it quietly. I subconsciously started playing the song that I had written for Ta around his favorite set of lyrics. Between my bowl of salad and strumming the guitar, time passed by super quickly. I cleaned up after myself and was just chilling in the balcony when Ta called me. 

"Hello Phi, what are you doing? Have you had lunch?"

"Yes, Ta. How about you? What did you eat?"

"I was about to order food but my neighbor swung by with lunch for me. That was really nice of him plus he really wanted to make up for what had happened the last time." 

"Well, that's nice of him. What did you have? Remember, stay away from fried food, any seafood for a bit, alcohol and oh yes, nuts."

"Yes, Phi. I do remember. Do not worry. He had brought some soup with chicken and rice and some prawns but I did not eat the prawns and I only had juice and water for lunch."

"Good, look after yourself well na. Anything, call me."

"I will. Thank you Phi. I really miss being around you."

"You should just move in here permanently then." I joked. There was a bit of silence on Ta's end.  I thought the line got cut off or he had hung up when I heard him whisper, "I wish. But I cant keep bothering you Phi."

I fell silent, my joke not quite being so funny anymore. I did not think he would actually consider it. Ta deviated the topic and asked me about my work schedule for the upcoming week and we just swapped information. A little while later, he had to leave as his mother was coming to check in on him. I told him to send her my regards and  hung up, just flopping back on the sofa, this very 24 year old coming to mind again and again.