As The Sun Hits -Ponyboy Curtis x reader-

Bigger Than Me

I couldn't tell anyone. Not even Jane, no one could know, what would they think of me? I sat on the couch for what seemed hours. I eventually ran out of tears, I was dry. I hugged Pony and he didn't care that I ruinned his T-shirt with tears. 

I must have fallen asleep for hours because when I woke up the light that came through the window was yellow. The sunset. I stood up and realised how Soda, Steve and Two-Bit were there playing cards. Pony had fallen asleep aswell but woke up when I stood up. Johnny was nowhere to be seen. The beautiful sunset dragged me out of the house.

I was standing in the front porch, barefoot for some reason and breathing heavily. The sunset left me stunned. It's beauty could only appeal those who seek to matter. Those who try to hide in the shadows and drain themselves into quietness, even though that's not what they want. It's beauty was only there for those who were observers, and looked around enough to perceive and appreciate the sunset's golden sky. My dad never stopped what he was doing to watch the sunset, he was too busy.

Everyone is always too busy. And I felt like I was the only one watching the sunset. And then Pony stood right next to me, and I wasn't the only one.

-Amazing.-He simply said. He got closer, he was a little behind me so I put my back against his chest. Suddenly his arms were around my body, I noticed how Pony was quite taller than me. I moved my head back and rest it against his shoulder, he smelled really good. It wasn't any brand of perfume or anything, it was just him. I thought that Dave couldn't hurt me in that very moment, he couldn't reach me, Pony was here.

He turned his head and kissed my temple, I was warm. I felt warm, specially my chest. That hug, that kiss... I felt really loved. He was there and he was real.-You're okay, you're alright now.

He turned so he was facing me. One of his hands travelled from my arms to my cheek. Caressing it. I wanted to cry. He got closer, slowly. He was beautiful. Pony always said he has grey eyes, but with the golden light against his face they looked very green to me. I was very overwhelmed by everything that was surrounding me, everything was too much. Pony's hand on my cheek, the cloudy golden sky, the mourning dove I could hear as the background music, Pony's green eyes... And then I was overwhelmed by all the things that weren't even surrounding me. Pony's itchy sweatshirt this morning, my old favourite shorts in the bin, Emily's absence and unresponded letters, dad, Amelia, mom, Dave.

I was so scared, the world was so big and I was so small. It was gonna eat me alive. All of a sudden Pony's lips were almost touching mine. I didn't realise how close he got to me and I realised that he wanted to kiss me. I just didn't know what to do. I mean, I really like-like Ponyboy, but I wasn't ready fot that. I needed to heal first. 

I didn't have to stop him though, because he paused and looked at me with that face of concern that he likes to wear when he looks at me. Aparently I was crying again, oh god I hate myself sometimes.

-Maddie, I need to know what's wrong, otherwise I can't help you.-I hugged him tight and let myself cry, I was once again crying myself out on Pony's shoulder.-Come on girl! Let's do something fun!

As he said that he grabbed my hand and started running. We ran up the street, past the park, past the lot, past all the houses from the neighbourhood, past the DX. Until we reached the bridge that goes over the train rail. The sunset was almost gone, but Pony's green eyes were vivid.

I was panting because of how much we ran. I was also smiling, in fact, I was laughing my ass off. For some reason I found that was really fun, while running I felt like a little girl again. I was a kid. In that very moment I felt like screaming to the world so big around me, and so that's what I did.

I screamed, yelled, shouted and shrieked to the world. I didn't even have to say anything actually, I just got all the air I had in my chest out of me. And when I ran out of voice I turned to Ponyboy, who was smiling at me. He stood right next to me, looking towards the train rails, and he screamed as well. We must have look like we were drunk, but I couldn't care less.

When we couln't breathe anymore I looked at him with the biggest of smiles. We both laughed like little kids. Ponyboy was my best friend, yeah, I liked him, but he was my bestfriend.

-You two!-Someone yelled, he had a friendly tone though.-Don't you know the socs come out at this time!?-I looked down the bridge and there he was, Dally with a root beer on his hand.-Come on! Let's go do something!

Pony and I smiled at eachother and nodded in a 'why not?' way. We went down the bridge where Dally was. He drank a last sip of his beer and threw it away somewhere in the bushes. 

-I was thinking about going to the Drive-In, they're playing 'For a Few Dollars More' tonight.

-Cool, I'll have to call home first though.-Dally laughed and took out a cigarette box.-Oh man, sometimes I forget you're a kid.-He handed a cigarette to Ponyboy and offered one to me, I didn't take it.-Yeah whatever.-Pony said.

Dallas is just a kid too, I thought to myself. I didn't want to say anything though because I knew that Dally wasn't someone you should mess with too much. I wondered if Dally still lived with his parents, or if he even had anyone to call parents. I soon guessed that he lived by himself in some shithole, probably with other neglected kids. I once found him sleeping at the Curtis house, so my idea might have not been as off as I thought.

-Maybe Cherry's there.-Dally put his arm around Pony's shoulders and combed his hair.-I've had enough of Cherry.-Pony answered. Dally walked infront of us backwards to face us.-Oh no, I'm the one who's gonna make out with her.-He winked at Ponyboy as he turned and continued walking in front of us.

 -Who's Cherry?-I asked Pony, making sure the blonde boy didn't hear me.-She was my friend, well, I thought she was my friend.-he answered.-And what happened?-He gave his cigarette a drag and looked at me.-Well, she wasn't loyal, and she didn't want to be seen with me. She's a soc.

-That suck.-Pony handed me his cigarette and I though that I'd just give it a drag.-Yeah, well, I don't wanna be his friend anyway.-I gave the cigar back to him, it was bitter and I wasn't sure if I liked it or not.-I mean the difference between the social classes and all that.-He nodded, and I thought he wouldn't say anything. But he eventually did.

-I don't wanna live in a shithole all my life.