"There are millions of people in Hell scattered throughout the seven rings and nine circles. Some are sinners, some are Hell-born, and some are unlucky souls who got screwed in the living world."
"These are their problems."
Luke: You got called a shit-head at go carts for bumping other drivers and had to fight the guy 'cause you were on a first date.
Osric: Your friend said that Sochi's a shit-hole. That guy's right as a headshot in the face.
Luke: Your cousin put a catfish in your glove box, 'cause he heard you call him a fucking dial tone on the internet.
Vicious: They're saying it's supposed to be the warmest summer in Pentagram history, but you haven't been this fucking pumped up since Tsar's fest.
Luke: Your friend says he texts with his sweetie for two to three hours a night. So it's like 'Kay, bud, let's take about 20% off over there.
Osric: A friend only brought $20 to play at the arcade machine at the bar with. That is just a pedestrian effort.
Vicious: You're not sure how it came to this, but youse don't feel right operating a chainsaw without a beer and a smoke.
Luke: Your boss told you his most valuable research is more important than the company, but there's nothing valuable about weird horse fantasies.
Vicious: You and your sweetie decided to test new tricks on the bed, only to end with you both questioning what you've done with your life up until this point.
Osric: When someone asks you what's the best type of chip, the answer should be All-dressed.
Luke: You'd normally not get involved in others' business, but sure as God's got sandals you're gonna get involved when a prick comes up the laneway and made you drop your beer.
"One Helluva Team"
The scene begins at the hotel where the group were hanging out in the lounge as the boys were sitting at the table and Osric opened a yogurt cup.
Vicious: So, the agenda. After your dust up over the weekend, safe to assume you're fighting again?
Luke: Co-rrect.
Vicious: Ten-four, good buddy. Well, it's gonna be a busy week 'cause there's a few guys walking around town claiming to be the Toughest Hellhounds in Pride.
Luke: I'm the Toughest Hellhound in Pride.
Vicious: You were the Toughest Hellhound in Pride. It's been some time. Now, it's safe to assume that that title is as important to you now as it was then?
Luke: Does a duck with a boner drag weeds?
Vicious: Ten-four, good buddy! Then it's safe to assume that the challengers will be coming up around the barn at the back of the hotel, as that is how you've conducted business in the past.
Luke: Well, I was never one for an audience.
Vicious: All right, let's talk about the challengers. First up, we've got Sled Ted.
Osric: Why's he called Sled Ted?
Vicious: Well, he likes fixin' sleds, and ridin' sleds, and talkin' about sleds. He just really likes sleddin', boys. Uh, he beat up a guy named Basic Jay.
Osric: Why's he called Basic Jay?
Angel Dust: 'Cause he's a fucking basic.
Vicious: And now he thinks he's the toughest hellhound in Pride. After that we have Rat Ass.
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One Helluva Team (Hazbin Hotel + Helluva Boss OC Story)
FanfictionThere are millions of people in Hell scattered throughout the seven rings and nine circles. Some are sinners, some are Hell-born, and some are unlucky souls who got screwed in the living world. Luke Morningstar works at his family's hotel to rehabil...
