"How much of self respect do you lack to ask me to fuck you just to prove a point?"
"You are hot too." He adds like it makes a difference.
~
In a world where a writer, Hyunjin struggles with lack of inspiration for his books, so he decides to seek...
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"I have feelings for you."
Hyunjin stood there with a proud smile, hearing his own racing heart felt unreal in a moment like this. He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs, grab Felix and run. Run where? he didn't know, but what mattered was that he was too excited.
This time person he liked knew of his feelings. This time, he wasn't a coward, he didn't run away from what he felt so deeply.
So he smiled as the scent of peaches were brought to him by late night spring breeze.
"No, you don't." Felix finally said. Hyunjin's proud smile vanished, feeling a lump forming in his throat, he took a deep breath as he observed person in front of him.
"What do you mean?"
"No, you don't." He repeated. It was a rejection wrapped in gentle words, a denial that echoed louder than any confession. "I mean.. I don't think you really understand what you are saying."
"I do understand, I know what I feel." Hyunjin insisted, his smile replaced by a determined frown. The tipsiness that had colored the moment now felt like a distant memory. "It's you who's lost, who doesn't understand and this is not how you fucking respond, when..."
"What do you want from me?" Felix suddenly erupts, cutting him off out of frustration. Then he takes a deep breath, releasing his hands that were fisted. "I think you just like writing about me, you don't love me.."
"Stop that!" He hisses between his teeth, trying his best to not blink, so tears wouldn't come running. This is always how it goes, why does he bother trying? He thought it would be different this time? What a childish thing to do.
"Stop what?" Felix's eyes fall down on his feet, avoiding eye contact as he plays with his sweater with his fingers.
"Thinking I confuse my feelings. Not everyone has as fucked up mind as you."
And in the longest time Felix got what he wanted. He got to feel something, that familiar feeling of your heart shattering into million little pieces. Felix took a step back. His eyes, filled with a mixture of sorrow and hurt, met Hyunjin's for a brief moment. Without a single word, Felix turned away, the distance between them expanding with each step.
Alone in the quiet night, Hyunjin couldn't help but show up under that tree him and Yuki used to hang out. The bitter taste of regret lingered, regret of what he said, knowing it would hurt him.
Hyunjin could read through him. He knew how much he struggled with understanding himself and feeling like an outcast everywhere, because he thought he was so fucked up. Yet, Hyunjin went out and said that?
The chill of the spring night seemed to seek into his bones, a contrast to the warmth he had hoped to find in Felix's presence. But now he couldn't see anything but pink peach flowers of the tree he was laying down underneath of.
