More than anything

part 1

"Who....are you?"

----

You knew full well what he meant. But reluctant to answer the underlying question you just repeated your own name. Adverting your eyes away from him and on to Alastor. " So, there must be a catch here right? Or was this all that you needed from me for a release?". Dead silent. God this demon frustrated you. But you knew this meant it wasn't done. To no ones surprise. These were only small fry. Charlie's lady friend named vaggie was just staring at you. Clearly not trusting you. Charlie look at you with beaming eyes. Alastair being... Well Alastair. And you know trying your hardest to ignore the king's stares. Minxy came up to you looking a bit sad. "Miss Juli.... you're a... Did this get revealed because of me? I'm so sorry...". With a sigh you knelt down to her and flicked your finger against her forehead. "Blame it on those stuck up sticks in the mud from upstairs love. But don't worry I'll fucking get them for this." And with that minxy gave you a satisfied nod. Now down with all but one interaction, the one you were not ready to deal with yet, you turned to the still restrained battle angel laying on the floor.
Grabbing her chin you made her face you. " Which one of them is it" She stared at you with venom in her eyes. Not answering you in the slightest. God they were still as indoctrinated as before. You roughly let go of her head letting her face dud on the ground with a frustrated groan. "We need to get out of here. Now. I doubt they'll do a second siege right after. Especially not now they know I'm here. But better safe than sorry." You took the spear and let it sink into the angels throat with another heavy sigh and closed eyes. And after looking at the carnage around you, without another word you left the building.

--- a little bit later

Charlie and the gang had led you and Minxy to the hotel. "Hazbin" you whispered to yourself, funny word play. You plop down at the bar and shoot the perceptive bar man... winged cat.. whatever a knowing look. Within second a drink was before you and you chug it down in one go.
The rest except for the famous angel dust and the barman were in another room now. These two were bickering and after gulping down another drink you groan and put your head on the bar.  What had you gotten myself into. What would be the price for the freedom you just got back. 
" So what's got this fucker down hm? She's killing the mood" The annoyance clear with the pink demon next to you. You didn't even bother to respond. You only grabbed a bottle and left to what would be your temporary room. Minxy was waiting there for you with a worried look on her face. "Don't worry little one. I'll fix all of this, and we'll go back to our day to day." You laid yourself on the floor after another big sip of the alcohol. Grabbing a rubber ball to throw into the air and catch again. The slow creaking of the door could be heard followed by soft voice. "Juli... are you okay?" You didnt mean to sound harsh when you answered with a short 'Im fine', but by god had this day been a rollercoaster. Your mind was running circles around yourself with all of the possible futures this could bring you. All of them were bad. "If it's to much, you don't have to answer but.... Juli, did you know my dad before hell?". This time you took your eyes of your ball and looked straight at her face. "Knowing is a strong word. I knew of him, but didnt know him personally." A very small frown could be seen but it left as quickly as it came. "Then... can you tell me. What was heaven like back then? Before all of this..."

You gave a soft sigh at this question and closed your eyes. Trying to think back. " I think it depends on which angel you ask. Your dad would have seen it very different then others, and myself as well.".       "Then how about you tell me what it was like for you?" Her voice soft and hesitant. Her kindness rivaled her dads, if not beat it.

"To me? It was stuffy, old and outdated. Angels have been around for milenia. Doing the same thing over and over again. Even now they are stuck in their ways of how the world works. I...." You hesitated for a moment but with yet another heavy sigh you continued closing your eyes once again. "I agreed with your dads idea, Lucifer was right. Heaven is stuck in this loop of bad decisions. To me they treat souls like toys. They are people just like us. Your idea for this hotel is great, yet they are to blind to realize humans are not pets. Idiots. I still regret that I wasn't in the situation to stand up and support Lucifers views. Who knows, maybe if I had, things would be different. " The annoyance at the status quo was very clear from your voice. It had been awhile since you've even talked about heaven.
The memory of the place was heavy on your mind. With your eyes closed and distracted by bad nostalgia you hadn't even noticed the subject of your regret standing to the side in the doorway listening in. "It's not your fault Juli, They dont listen. Even if you had risked standing up. You wouldve been banished right then and there." Slowly sitting up you open your eyes staring at the wall. "Would it have made a difference? I ended up here anyways." Charlie sat down next to you on the ground and Minxy sat on the other side. " Miss Juli? Can I Ask? Why did you fall...?"
A small smile form on your lips. "I... spoke up about his banishment. And Armaros, my supervisor, didn't like it." You chuckled. "In the end my opinion mattered even less then his. So I could've shown my support at the time. Instead of cowaring until after they had condemned him." Taking another big sip of the bottle next to you, you shook your head.

" You... Fell because of...me? And wait, wait, wait.... You served Armaros?" Your entire body stiffend at his voice, his footsteps more audible then life as he walked into the room. For gods sake, just my luck. Today had already been such a reckless day. Where was your brain at you wondered to yourself. Why not scream it all over hell next time. You regained your calm in a few seconds and continued. " I fell because I disagreed. I think you know full well what they think about disagreeing with their ways. I'd been frustrated for awhile, with the things they had me do, how they ran things. Long before humans came around. But to punish someone from dreaming? Why would I even want to remain there. Can't see this place is a spa, but at least it's honest. But instead of thinking about the past, we need to focus on now. They will be back, and they will be bringing their elite. Armaros won't let this go. You think Adam was bad? Try this guy. And especially since I already know he will be preparing a little gift, just for me." With a last sigh you downed the rest of the bottle in a few gulps. "Minx, love. It is time. Let's call in those favors shall we?" It was becoming a standard reaction now to ignore Lucifer's eyes on your. You didn't even want to know what his look was. It was embaressing. "Charlie, my services are yours. With my powers restored, and the favors I've build up over the years, we will keep you safe princess. I understand you lost someone in the last battle from your group. I will make sure that doesn't happen again." You gave her a little sincere bow and walked right out of the room. Your shoulder bumping ever so slightly into Lucifer. You had been so focussed on ignoring him, you had even ignored his positioning in the room. God nothing had changed over the years. His presence still made you nervous. 

--- The next day

You had called in most of your favors. The stronger ones, the smarter ones, the scouts.
As a deal broker you had build up quite a bit of a network. Three forms of payment. Money, Information you required, or a favor to cash in later. At the start it had disgusted you, it felt like you were doing the exact same thing as Alastor. But later you slowly learned that instead of tricking people, your deals and favors were build on trust. Not trickery. All the demons you called in had no hesitation. You had saved most of them from to them bigger threats. Mostly the V's actually. Charlie had arranged a desk in your new room. And while finishing a call you noticed a presence in your room. "Can I... Ask you something" His voice shend shivers down your spine. But you knew you couldn't avoid him this time. You also couldn't avoid the heavy sigh before you turned your chair and faced him. His face as beautiful as you remember now that you got a better look at it. Unable to take your eyes off of him. He looked... nervous? "What can I... help you with?" Keeping your voice as steady as you could. 

"What you said yesterday... Was that true?" The hestitance was clear. Of course he wasn't supposed to hear that to start with, and now he doubted you? " It was the truth. But it's no big deal." He took a few small steps towards you. " What do you mean no big deal?" Shaking your head you continued. " I was bound to fall. It was a matter of time. Like I said, this might not be the best place. But it's honest. Unlike the gold bullshit they try to sell heaven as. It's no big deal. Your ideas just woke me up to how done I was with their ways. They infuriate me." The scowl on your face was clear. They were your honest feelings though. Nothing but stuck up bitches the lot of them. While foccused on your frustration you hadn't noticed him moving closer until he put his fingers underneath your chin, bringing your face up to look straight at him. His eyes looked sad. You couldn't help yourself. Your eyes ever so slightly moved to look at his lips. Your breath caught in your throat. Heat slowly rising to your face. 

Maybe it lasted for a second. But to you it felt like hours. His fingers on your chin felt like they were going to burn your skin away. You could've lost yourself in this moment for the rest of eternity. His presence so...

A loud bang.

You snapped back to reality shock set in and you scrambled away from Lucifer and made quick work of the distance between you and the noise. Lucifer seemed just as dazed but followed you. 
The memory of the moment before had no chance to set into your brain yet. One wall of the hotel fully exploded into itself and within the rubble stood a very familiar face.
With a grin rivaling Alastors own. "Ah my lovely, don't look at me like that. You always loved it when I make a big entrance." Within second a hand was on your cheek and lips almost on yours. 
"Oh for FUCKS Sake" You slapped the hand away and took a step back. "What do you want now jackass" The annoyance obviously radiating from you. So much so that Vaggie even put herself between the scene and Charlie. Lucifer had caught up and was behind you now. " Oh or could it be I have been replaced with royalty? Oh my Juli my beloved, never would I thought you would trade me in like that. Although when you landed it was obvious you had a crus-".   "Malthus by the love of all that is depraved shut the FUCK up before I rip your throat out. What do you want."

"I heard you were collecting your favours.... And I remembered I owed you some... I'm here to.. Help so to say." Malthus the deer demon. Sounded innocent enough right? If deer ate everything in sight while delivering the most gruesome nightmares for fun. And an ex friends with benefits from when I first woke up here. God the mistakes you made. His hand found your chin that Lucifers hand had just graced and lifted your face up towards him. But unlike the similar seeming moment before, there were no tingels, no heat. Just absolute rage. 
Lucifer gently grabbed your arm and pulled you back, putting some distance between the two of you. He had probably noticed you would burn this place down if this went on. 
Malthus gave Lucifer a look over and started laughing. He was perceptive. And you were naive when you first arrived here. He was the only one who knew just how far your admiration for Lucifer had gotten in heaven. And he also wasn't complaining when you took out your broken heart on him. You hadn't seen him in years. And he was dead set on embarrasing you. 

But then you noticed something besides your anger. Lucifer was staring intently at the man before you and... he had not let go of your arm yet...