Me before you

chapter 5

Sana did what she always did when she was uncertain – she planned.

By the time she was walking Louis to school before work the next day, she’d calculated her next move. It was like with work in Boston; whenever Sana didn’t know what to do about a meeting or a pitch, she’d plan and plan and plan until she felt like she was back in control. To be perfectly honest that was probably an issue she needed to work through, but it made her feel safer.

Of course, she couldn’t exactly make a spreadsheet about helping a disabled woman through her depression, but she could at least plan for the next few days.

Sana walked into the annex that morning with her shoulders back and her first simple idea firm in her mind. She didn’t even have to worry about struggling to lure Y/n out of her bed: it was a Wednesday, so she had to wake up early for the nurses’ round. Not Ten today – one of the older women, the patronizing aunt type – which meant Y/n might not be in the best mood, but she couldn’t have everything.

She turned her key in the lock, pushing through into the hallway with a hard determination thrumming through her. It put a strange kind of anticipation in her stomach: the juvenile fluttery kind she hadn’t felt since she found out she was having Louis.

“Morning,” Sana called briskly, opening the door to the annex’s ain room. She was eager to carry out the plan: tick everything off her list, one by one.

“Hey,” Y/n replied. Her voice was easy but distanced. She was sitting watching some breakfast show on TV, fingers dancing clumsily over the remote buttons without pressing anything. Sana noticed she did that sometimes: moved her fingers without purpose. Like she was making sure they still worked. Like she was making a point. “I already ate.”

“Granny’s?” Sana tried, raising an eyebrow.

A smile brushed over Y/n’s mouth. “Gross hospital toast.”

“Marginally better,” Sana allowed scathingly, mechanically stowing her bag and keys away in their usual spot. She glanced back at Y/n: she was dressed, at least. She was so rarely in anything other than sweats it seemed too perfect to be a coincidence. Of course, her hair still looked like a birds nesting ground, but at least there was something. “I hope you’re ready for some fresh air.”

Y/n’s eyebrows drew together sharply, mouth curling into a form. “What?”

Sana almost smiled at the mix of horror and shock on her face. “I’m not wasting another day vacuuming a hallway that doesn’t need to be vacuumed while you watch another obnoxious car film.”

“Okay, you did not just insult Fast and Furious.” Y/n raised an eyebrow. “And also, you get paid to vacuum that hallway.”

“Technically I get paid to help you live.” Sana reminded her. She swallowed, tightened her jaw, held the other woman’s gaze. “If I let you waste another day I’m actually helping you self destruct.”

Immediately, annoyance flared in Y/n’s brown eyes, in the movement when she ducked her head. “Don’t you start.”

“I won’t.” Sana promised. “But you’re coming for a walk with me and that’s the end of it.”

Y/n opened her mouth to protest but she must have decided against it, because she didn’t say anything for a while. Instead, she paused, breathed in slowly. When she met her gaze again, her eyes were bright and an almost-smile was quirking at the corners of her mouth. “Hot Single Mom Kidnaps Quadriplegic Loser – I can see the headline now. It’s like Heidi on drugs.”

“While that would absolutely make headline news in this foot-squared town –” Sana gave her a look. “You’re not a loser. I mean, you do talk like a teenage boy in a fraternity –“