Raat Akeli Hai

XXVII. feverish memories

vanraj :

I sat back in my bedroom working on the tablet.
It was night already.
The day had passed in a blur, thanks to my excessive workload at office. I hadn't been able to have a conversation with Anupamaa either.
She had looked rather bothered, I assumed because of yesterday's break up thing - but couldn't find time to talk to her.
Everyone was asleep now.
The clock struck two thirty at night.

Sadly, my sleeping pills were over, and somehow I couldn't sleep without them today.
I suddenly sat up when I heard a squeal from somewhere outside.

I immediately walked out of my room.
"Surry...surry..", it was a mumble from the room beside mine.
I immediately opened the door and walked in.

Anupamaa was lying on the bed, sweating profusely and mumbling "sorry" in her accent.
A nightmare, probably.

I reluctantly walked down to her and gently placed my hand on hers.
She immediately clasped it, her hand felt unnaturally warm, she was still very much stuck in her nightmare. I noticed tears roll down from the edge of her eyes.

I edged closer and placed my hand on her forehead.
It was almost burning.
She had a high fever.
"Anu..", I said softly as she opened her eyes, bloodshot.
"Woh.. Choti..", She mumbled.

I drew in a deep breath.

"Tum leti raho.. mai do minute mein aata hu..", I said as she shut her eyes again, gulping.
I immediately headed into the kitchen, poured some water in a vessel and half-jogged back.

In her room, I found a handkerchief.
I took it and dipped it in the water.
The temperature was really high, I knew.
I sat down beside her on the bed, keeping the bowl of water on the table bedside.
"Woh.. choti..", She mumbled.
"Anu..", I said as I folded the handkerchief and placed it on her forehead, "Shaant ho jao.."
"Maine uske saath bohot bura kia.."
"Ha okay. Bura karne mein koi burai nehi hai.", I said as I nicely levelled the handkerchief on her forehead.

"Aaj kya bina sweater ke nikli thi tum? Itna bukhar kaise aa gaya?", I asked as I picked up the warm cloth.
"Mai.. choti se mili..", She mumbled.

Of course.
Tabhi bukhar aa gaya.

"Maafi maangne gayi thi.. aur usne beizati kar di.", I said sighing.
"Maine.. maine uske liye yahan aane ka sapne chod diya tha..", Her voice broke, I heard silent sobs.
My heart wrenched.
I knew exactly how it felt to get berated by your own child. She knew it too - but she hadn't felt guilty with regards to Toshu or Pakhi.

"Aur.. usse phir bhi lagta hai.. ki mai usse kam pyaar karti thi..", She mumbled, eyes shut.
I placed the wet cloth on her forehead again.
I drew in a deep breath, as I watched another tear roll down the corner of her eyes.

"Mai ek buri maa nehi hu..", She mumbled again, on the edge of breaking down.
I edged a little more closer and softly brushed her hair back.
She opened her eyes, looking dazed.
"Lekin agar mai buri maa nehi hu.. toh mere sabhi bacche mujhse nafrat kyu karte hai?", She asked herself.

I sighed.
"Kyuki tumne waqt pe unhe do thappad nehi lagaye.", I said plainly.
She looked at me.
"Nehi.. galti—"
"Galti unki hai Anupamaa. Bhagwan ke liye dusron ko blame karo aur aage badh jao. Khudpar blame leti rahogi toh ghut jaogi.", I said as I picked up the handkerchief again.