Several lifes

When love is all that matters...

"Love does not know how to be modest, its desire is its rule, its delight its law, it has no measure but its excess; its right of possession rests in the boldness to lay claim to everything and in the freedom to try everything. But of course, love only has these rights on the condition that it always takes the right path. If it has lost its way, it must return by long detours and must tremble and weep for its aberration and atone for its mistakes through its shame." ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

But what is the right path? Is it not also love to lose oneself in her name? To wander, to hope, to fear, to put the happiness of the beloved above one's own? Who sets out to judge without knowing fate and love's destiny? What mistakes to atone for bitterly when the pain of separation can trump nothing and only death promises redemption?

And what if words cannot describe how you feel? When everything is too much and yet never enough, is it love? Who determines which emotions are hidden behind a feeling?

But what if love is not enough, is it a punishment? A test that explores the limits of the self, perhaps even fate itself?

And if fate can be controlled just like everything else, is it really fate? Or is it coincidence, a lucky coincidence or are we all the architects of our own destiny? What if our destiny is to finally believe? In ourselves and our strength, in the power that lies within us? Trust in ourselves and therefore also in others? In a common, unstoppable path that can finally fulfill its destiny.

December 16, 2149

The night was drawing to a close and still none of the women had moved. They looked at each other as if they were each other's fantasy. Like a dream that faded as soon as they opened their eyes. But they weren't dreaming, their minds were awake. Silence was their closest confidant, yet it was always filled with the sound of the snow, the hustle and bustle outside the door and the quiet humming of their hearts. Senta Berger once said: "Love is a composition in which the pauses are just as important as the music." How much importance would be attached to it without a conductor to lead it? Ultimately, however, the decisive factor was not whether you heard it, but that you felt it and allowed yourself to be captivated by it. And the two women did nothing else. They knew that as soon as they left the room, reality would catch up with them. It was unavoidable. "I wish we could sit here forever." Lexa sighed and played with Clarke's fingers.

"Everything is finite, even if I'd like to stay. Everyday life seems so much further away than this moment. Like it's more tangible or longer than anything else."

The brunette smiled gently. "Infinity, which is really just a moment. I don't know whether that should make me happy or frightened, because I want to experience it more often. With you by my side."

"Someday, if the world allows it, we will be more together than we ever dared to dream." It was hope packed into the wishes of a lonely heart, whose bitterness began to fade with every moment spent together.

"Am I weak if I wish for it now?" It was a shy question, full of fear of rejection.

"Nothing you say could ever seem weak in my eyes. You're braver than I could ever be." Clarke gave her a genuine smile. "Still, I hope to catch up with you one day." She stood up, stroked Lexa's cheek once more and then turned towards the door. "I'll meet you in the morning, where the world awaits. Good night."

"I'll be there." With that, the blonde disappeared, leaving behind a happy, beaming commander filled with feelings she had never experienced before.

The few remaining hours felt like mere seconds before they had to get up. But none of the women felt tired, rather they were buoyed up by the thought of last night. Coupled with hope that promised to be more than just a castle in the air. Even Clarke wanted to believe in it.