Harry Potter's Aunt (WTM)

Part One

Aunt Petunia: Harry! Harry!

[Harry bounds down the stairs and into the front hall where Petunia and Dudley are standing. Petunia jerks her head towards the door.]

Aunt Petunia: Well, go on. Open it.

James, Sirius, Remus, Lily and Val all glare at her for treating their son/nephew/godson like a personal servant.

[Harry reaches for the door handle when the door bursts open. A large woman lurches forward out of the rain with Vernon behind her. He drops an enormous suitcase on Harry.]

Aunt Petunia: Marge! Welcome! How was the train?

Lily grimaces at the sight of her sister. What a bitch she had turned out to be. And her walrus of a husband.

Aunt Marge: Wretched. Ripper got sick.

Aunt Petunia: Ah. How ... unfortunate.

Aunt Marge: I would've left him with the others, but he pines so when I'm away. Don't you, darling?

[Marge puckers her lips at Ripper before leading him down the hallway. Harry follows with Vernon.]

Rosier and Crouch Jr looked at each other, both pretending to gag and throw up.

Harry: Uncle Vernon. I need you to sign this form.

Uncle Vernon: What is it?

Harry: Nothing. Something for school.

[Vernon eyes the parchment suspiciously.]

Uncle Vernon: Later perhaps. If you behave.

Harry: I will if she does.

[Marge turns around in her seat.]

Aunt Marge: So. Still here, are you?

Harry: Yes.

Aunt Marge: Don't say 'yes' in that ungrateful tone. Damn good of my brother to keep you, if you ask me. 

Even the Slytherins glared at that statement. The younger Potter may be a Gryffindor but even they would stoop to defend him against these god-awful people.

[to Vernon and Petunia]

Aunt Marge: It'd have been straight to an orphanage if he'd been dumped on my doorstep.

Most of the Slytherins looked on in pity for the boy. That was how they felt, with the horrible treatment of pureblood parents. Some of them would honestly rather live in an orphanage.

[Dudley enters the living room.]

Aunt Marge: Is that my Dudders! Hm? Is that my neffy poo? Come and say hello to your Auntie Marge.

Marlene looked at the screen in disgust. "Lily, how the hell are you somewhat related to these people?"

"Language!" Alice reprimanded her.

Val sniggered.

[Marge flashes a thick fan of pound notes. Dudley waddles forward, extending his hand.]

Sirius said to Remus, "Damn! Clearly she's not liked if she has to bribe him for one hug. Only time that kid's got something right."

Remus nodded in agreement.

---time skip---

[Harry cleans the dishes, Vernon brings out a bottle of brandy.]