Grand-Slam

month one

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           "Is this- Are you serious?" he questioned.

I tried to keep my composure as I knew being emotional in this situation wouldn't benefit either of us. As calmly as I could, I walked over and sat down on the bed, leaning back on my hands and looking up at him through tears.

"I took one this morning. I've been feeling nauseous for a couple days and that's when I realized my period was late. When it turned out positive, I threw it out because I thought it was probably wrong and I didn't want you to find it, but I had a nagging feeling all day. I skipped class to pick up more tests and tried again. They were all still positive" I said with a shaky voice.

His gaze on the test was unwavering. My nerves began to sky rocket as he refused to look at me. My mind raced with all the possibilities of his reaction. His expression was unreadable, stoic as he continued to stare down the test in his hand.

"I'm sorry Bo" I said, feeling guilty for trying to keep something like this from him. But he said nothing, continuing to stare at the test. I didn't know what this meant for us but I knew that his silence was killing me, I needed to know what he was thinking.

Please say something" I begged.

"I'm just- I. Jesus don't apologize Halle. I just wasn't expecting this that's all" he said.

I could tell he wasn't mad but the turmoil behind his eyes made it difficult to understand what he was thinking. Not exactly the response I was hoping for but way better than I expected. He seemed to snap out of his trance and was now looking around the room awkwardly. After staring at him for what felt like an eternity, he let out a sigh and walked over to the bed, sitting next to me with his hands between his legs.

"What do you want to do?" he asked softly.

I told him about the options I considered, how I wasn't sure if I should keep it or not, and knowing he was religious, I expected it when I saw him cringe slightly at the idea of me getting rid of the baby. He held my small hands in his rough ones as I walked him through what was going on in my head, trying to be completely open with him about everything. If I wanted this conversation to go well, I knew I had to communicate everything, there was no use in leaving out details.

"I feel like the only option i'm comfortable with is keeping the baby, but I don't want to do this alone" I mumbled out, my voice wavering.

His head quickly shot up to look at me, "No Hal no, i'm sorry i'm not the best with words right now. You won't do this alone. I just- it's your body and as much as I don't like the idea of terminating the pregnancy, I don't want you to feel like you have to do anything for my sake" he explained.

I smiled at his consideration and leaned my head on his shoulder. We sat in a comfortable silence, both taking in everything that was about to happen. In one day, everything became so different. Nothing would ever be the same again and I wasn't sure if that was a good thing. The longer we sat in the quietness of his bedroom, the more my thoughts started to turn sour, and worry completely clouded my mind.

"I don't even know how far along I am. I haven't been to the doctors to confirm it either. We have to fly to Florida in two days and we don't even live together" I rambled out. None of my thoughts coherently fit together but Bo understood me nonetheless, he always did.

"Hey, take it easy. We'll figure everything out yea?" He said, rubbing soothing circles on my hands with his thumbs. He took a second to think before speaking again,

"We'll find a doctor in Florida who can get in contact with a doctor in Toronto so that once we fly home they'll have all your medical records. We have a long way to go still so we have time to work everything out. We'll take this one day at a time" he said sweetly.