On all fronts since Y/N's admittance to the hospital, progress was being made. In the first few weeks of her recovery, there was a bit of hindrance when it came to Y/N's reaction to the anaesthesia. Turns out, whatever anaesthesia they had administered, Y/N couldn't handle it, as she was vomiting every few hours.
As for her leg, Y/N had been on bed rest for 3 months before the pain in her leg was mostly gone and the stitches were removed. The day the stitches were taken out, Y/N said a silent prayer, glad that her leg would finally look normal again - albeit sporting a giant scar.
Physical therapy was next for Y/N. There was one morning, after getting the stitches removed from her leg, that Y/N attempted to get out of bed. She didn't care that she couldn't walk yet. All she wanted was for her feet to feel the cold floor. Her legs had been inactive for 3 months. The only relief she got from the hospital bed was when one nurse in particular came to shower her every morning. The first logical thought would've been to have her husband shower her, but Y/N had barely recovered any memories. Just because she knew him as her husband, didn't mean she felt comfortable letting him see her naked. It was during the showers that Y/N was encouraged to try and stretch her feet and her legs.
Her other scars had healed quite nicely. They could be easily covered up, meaning Y/N didn't have to look at them. Aaron was glad for this, as he didn't want Y/N to look at her scars and suddenly remember parts of her memory relating to how she ended up in the hospital.
Speaking of Y/N's memory, it was coming back, bit by bit. It usually came as daydreams, or visions when she was asleep. She had weekly visitors who brought gifts for her. The first memory Y/N recovered occurred when she watched Penelope turn on her laptop so they could watch a movie together.
"You need to rest, Y/N. You'll need your strength for the birth." Penelope stressed.
"I'm gonna help with this case, Penelope. It's the only thing distracting me from the fact that my husband is in surgery and our baby is on the way." Y/N insisted.
"Okay. Okay. Sure. I'll move toward you and we can work together." Penelope smiled, moving back.
Since that moment, Y/N's memories had slowly come back. Usually she'd see a friend of hers and a memory would unlock. It was during a visit from Emily and Spencer that another memory unlocked in Y/N's mind. Y/N had seen a small tattoo resting on the inside of Emily's arm, just below her elbow. She furrowed her eyes, focusing on the two words written in bold black ink.
Wheels Up
Y/N asked Emily about the tattoo, and in response, Emily and Spencer explained why those two words held so much significance since they were on her arm. As they talked, Y/N couldn't help but stare at the tattoo, a scene playing out in her mind.
"No. With Aaron not returning, I'll now be referred to as SSA Hotchner. You can call me any other nickname you want. But 'Hotch' is reserved for Aaron, whether he's on the team or not." Y/N insisted. Everyone nodded, understanding. They all turned to Emily, who was ready to talk.
"So, uh, the director has ordered us to take some time off from handling cases, but before we all leave, there's one last thing I need to say. Scratch got deeper into my head than I care to admit, and the only way I was able to stay sane was by repeating a mantra, two words. You know what those two words were? 'Wheels up'. It saved my life when I wasn't sure I was gonna make it because it reminded me that you were out there fighting, so take your rest...you've earned it. But when we get back, wheels up, Matt." Emily glanced to Matt.
"Wheels up, Emily." He replied.
"Wheels up, Tara." Emily glanced to Tara.
"Wheels up." She nodded.
"Wheels up." JJ, Luke, Rossi, and Penelope smiled.
"Damn right, wheels up." Y/N chuckled.
"Wheels up." Spencer chimed in.
"Y/N?" Y/N heard her name being called. She blinked a few times and looked up at Emily and Spencer, who furrowed their eyebrows in confusion.
"H- How could a man like Scratch have escaped my memory for so long?" Y/N asked.
"You're remembering." Spencer smiled.
"I guess I am. Bits and pieces." Y/N nodded.
Memories had been popping into Y/N's mind more often. A few memories had unlocked in her brain when being visited by her friends, but - for some reason - no memories had unlocked through her conversations with Aaron. They'd had hundreds of conversations during her stay at the hospital, and yet, her memories had chosen to stay hidden to her.
Aaron was dropping Jack and Avery off at school, and Jess was at home keeping Toby entertained. Y/N had just finished her second session of physical therapy. She adjusted the blanket on top of her so she was warm again.
"How you feeling? I saw you moving your leg a bit earlier. I'm so proud of you, my dear." Penelope smiled as she walked into the room with two coffees.
"I'm...happy and sad." Y/N admitted.
"Happy...and sad? I'm not sure I understand." Penelope furrowed her eyebrows.
"I'm happy, because after 3 months of feeling helpless, I am finally closer to walking again." Y/N started.
"I sense a 'but'." Penelope raised her eyebrows.
"...but, I'm sad. I've regained memories through conversations with you and our friends. I can remember the day I gave birth to Avery. I can remember the day I returned to work after the team took down Scratch. But...I can't remember anything past the things that Aaron has told me. After he told me about the beginning of our relationship, I started to remember things, like the day Haley died." Y/N could feel the tears in her eyes.
"My brain...it isn't allowing any memories to unlock and I hate it." Y/N finished.
"Y/N, a lot of yours and Hotch's relationship has been traumatic, I can't lie about that. I wouldn't be surprised if the memories you can't seem to unlock are repressed memories." Penelope explained.
"Repressed memories?" Y/N questioned.
"When trauma is too severe to be kept in conscious memory, and is removed by repression, or dissociation. Sometimes both." Penelope nodded.
"Will I ever regain those memories?" Y/N exhaled.
"On your own? I'm not so sure. There are other ways, like a cognitive interview?" Penelope suggested.
"C- Can I do a cognitive interview? I'm sick of not remembering my relationship with Aaron." Y/N insisted.
"I wouldn't recommend it, Y/N. A cognitive interview could force the memories and that can become overwhelming." Penelope warned.
"Then why'd you suggest it?" Y/N rolled her eyes.
"I didn't. I simply gave an example of a way memories can be regained." Penelope clarified.
"Y- You're right. I'm sorry." Y/N apologised.
"You're frustrated Y/N, I get it. But, if you want to do a cognitive, I can't stop you. All I can do is suggest that you talk to Hotch first. He can probably advise you better than I can, considering it's yours and his relationship you're trying to remember." Penelope told.
YOU ARE READING
Reconciling the Hotchners | 2
RomanceY/N and Aaron believed that their lives would slow down a little after Y/N remained with the BAU and Aaron left. But with a job as time consuming as working with the BAU, things fall through the cracks...problems arise. The BAU doesn't want Y/N and...
