NEW GIRL | ONE DIRECTION

𝐎𝐍𝐄

SCENE ONE:
THE APARTMENT

(A close up of Harry, sat on a sofa facing Louis, Niall and Zayn.)

HARRY: "So, you know in horror movies when the girls are like "Oh my god, there's something in the basement. Let me just run down there in my underwear and see what's going on in the dark", and you're like "what is your problem? Call the police", and she's like "okay" but it's too late because she's already getting murdered. Well, er, my story's kind of like that."

FLASHBACK
- Two Weeks Ago -

(Harry is in a taxi, on the phone to Perrie, her best friend.)

HARRY: "It's a surprise for Spencer. I'm just gonna walk in and I'm gonna drop my coat on the ground. He says he had this fantasy that I'm a stripper with a heart of gold, and he's helping me put myself through college."

PERRIE: "He didn't say the college part, did he?"

HARRY: "Um, no, I wanted to create a three-dimensional sex character."

PERRIE: "Really? What's your stripper name?"

HARRY: "Uh... Rebecca Johnson?"

PERRIE: "Your stripper name's Rebecca Johnson?"

HARRY: "Boobs Johnson. Two-boobs Johnson."

PERRIE: "Look at you, in the back of a cab, totally naked. I am so proud of you."

ONE HOUR LATER

(Harry enters through the front door, wearing nothing but a coat.)

HARRY: "Hellooo? I came home early."

SPENCER: (Steps out of a room, surprised, wearing nothing but his underwear.) "Harry. What-"

HARRY: "Who's Harry? You're talking to...Tiger Boobs." (Harry takes off her coat and drops it on the ground, now completely naked.)

SPENCER: "Oh..."

HARRY: (Harry picks up a pillow, covers herself and starts dancing seductively a bit and sings a little stripper tune.) (Singing) "I'm doing sexy things," (starts trotting to the side) "with the pillow."

SPENCER: "This-"

HARRY: (While shaking a plant, singing) "I''m doing sexy stuff to the plant right here..." (The plant falls over, making a mess.)

SPENCER: "Woah, okay."

HARRY: (Singing) "I'll pick that up later." (Turns around, singing) "Who's that girl?" (Louder) "Who's that girl?" (Spins back around) "It's Harry!" (Another girl stands by Spencer in her underwear)

SPENCER: "Um..." (Harry stands and stares in absolute shock. The ribbon dropping to the floor that was previously covering Harry' lady parts.)

- Flashback End. -

SCENE TWO:
BACK IN THE APARTMENT

HARRY: "So, that happened. That's why I need a new apartment. I'm sorry, what was the question again?"

(Louis, Niall and Zayn sat opposite Harry on the other sofa. They're all staring at her, speechless.)

LOUIS: "Do you have any pets?"

SCENE THREE:

(Everyone still on the couch opposite Harry.)