Cynically Sad

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Trigger warning!! This chapter dove deeper into the mental state of Peter, including his eating disorder and depressive thoughts. 


The darkness of the vents makes the walls feel like they are closing in on me. Panicking, I press my legs out onto one side and my back against the vent wall behind me. My breath trembles as the air becomes thinner.


My spider senses go haywire; they work double time but do not focus simultaneously. I can hear the voices of people below the vents where I entered.


"Anyone have eyes on the kid?" I hear Mr Stark firmly speak through a crackling radio.


"Yeah, eyes on." A voice from behind me spoke.


My vision goes in and out with the bit of light in the vent.


"Hey, Kid," Mr Barton snapped his fingers, drawing my focus to where he was crouched. Feeling his body closing in on mine made my breathing quicken, heaving through the thick air.


"Woah.. okay, distance!" Barton said with raised hands backing up.


"You need to calm down, breathe, focus on your breath."


This advice helped at no avail as my vision was becoming worse, my hands numb, and my feet tingling. The walls crushing me.


"Uh uhm, okay, Kid, can you think of five things you can see right now?" Hawkeye questions. I look around, thinking for a second.


"m-my feet." I tremble out.


"Good, that's one, four more." He spoke confidently.


"you", I let out between breaths, and Mr Barton nodded in response.


"The vent walls and cobwebs in the corner."


"good one more", He gently spoke.


"My hands", I suggest, bringing them up to my face.


"Okay, can you tell me four things you can touch now?"


After a few wheezing breaths, I reach my hand down to the cold vent metal under me and gesture it to Barton, who nods.


I pull my hands back to touch my own arms. "My skin?"


"two more", he coaxes.


"My shirt" I comment


"a-and uhm." My breaths start catching back up as I struggle to find a fourth thing to touch in this small space. My eyes dart around, looking from wall to wall, and my heartbeat picks back up.


Clint, seeing this, reaches his arm out and connects it to my hand.


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