The Phoenix Returns

Chapter 32 - I Got Your Text

(Scarlett's POV)

5:25 a.m.

Kyson's flight will be departing from the airport soon. I told him no; no we can't go. He wanted me to think about it and before he left Keema's, I told him no.

This is what I wanted, I told him that I wanted to be with him and when he invited me to be a family with him in LA, I said no.

He pushed me away and then pulled me back in, and now I'm becoming terrified and making up stupid excuses.

I'm a literal idiot.

I cried myself to sleep last night.

It was one of the hardest nights of my life.

Kyson is leaving us again for the second time and it hurts just as bad as the first time— maybe more.

He has no choice because I know if he did then he would choose to stay. That is what I have to tell myself to make me feel better about this situation.

He loves me and he loves his boys.

I know he does.

I love him— we love him.

No one is ever going to make me feel the same way again; I will wait for Kyson to return because he is what I want. I only want him for the rest of my life.

We are endgame.

I hope we are endgame.

I never talked to Kyson about what the standing of our relationship will be while he is gone. He may go off and find someone else in the meantime.

All because I said no.

Then I'll regret not going with him for the rest of my life. He might find someone better than me who would want to follow him around the world just so they didn't have to be apart for a second.

But I can't leave now, I have so many loose ends in New York.

I have a house that's a crime scene right now.

I possibly have a little sister out there in Long Island named Oakley. Let's not forget my mother, someone in my life that I never thought I would find.

Even though Flynn told me this information out of wickedness, I can't help but think that maybe he wasn't lying. And I'll beat myself up for every day that passes, and I didn't look into it.

There's Kennedy and Olivia. I can't just get up and leave her with no place to live. No matter how many fights we get into, she will always be my best friend.

Most importantly, I have my boys. What if they are not content with the move? They just lost their grandpa, I don't want them to lose anyone else.

Although, Kyson would be there to remind them of their grandpa. They look and sound so much alike.

And who knows, the boys may like sunny California, they may even love it.

Kennedy and Olivia could stay in the house after it gets cleaned up and repaired.

But then it all came back to finding my sister.

I want to know her— I need to know her.

My birth mother, too.

But I don't want to lose Kyson in the process. He loves me for me, through all of my shit. He stood by me and never judged me once, he is the only one for me.

However, just because I can't go now doesn't mean I can't go six months from now when I have everything squared away.

I'm an idiot for not making sure that Kyson knows that I only want him. I'm an idiot for not making sure if Kyson only wants me.