The Metamorphosis

Chapter 8

"I am certain that papá will come to visit us soon, mamá," I said, trying to encourage her while simultaneously concealing my own sadness and disappointment. She glanced back at me as she continued to cook, and I could tell that she was also putting on a brave face in order to alleviate my worries.

Suddenly, a familiar sound of knocking echoed through the house again- "Knock, knock, knock." I hurriedly made my way to the door and, to my delight, it was Maria standing there. Her presence instantly brightened my mood and brought a sense of relief.

"Amigaaa," I exclaimed.

"Buenos días amiga," Maria greeted me warmly.

"Come inside, mamá is cooking. You can eat with us," I invited her graciously.

"Really?! It seems that I can once again indulge in tía's delicious food," Maria exclaimed, unable to contain her anticipation.

"Buenos días señora Amalia," Maria greeted respectfully as she entered the kitchen.

"Buenos días," mamá responded with a warm smile. "My escabeche is done. Come have a seat while it's hot," she offered.

As mamá served the mouthwatering escabeche, I scooped a generous portion of rice and placed it on the table. With the fragrant aroma of the dish filling the air, we both eagerly took our seats.

"Mmmmmm, Señora Amalia, you never disappoint me with your cooking," Maria exclaimed, her taste buds dancing with delight. "This escabeche is so delicious!"

"Just indulge yourself, it's one of Isabel's favorite dishes, which is why I cooked it once again," Mamá replied with a warm smile.

"Then it will be my favorite as well, especially since it was cooked by you, Señora Amalia," Maria responded, her gratitude evident in her words. The expression on my mother's face showed how touched she was by Maria's message. We continued to savor the meal, eating until our stomachs were pleasantly full.

After our satisfying feast, Maria and I remained in the kitchen. I took on the task of washing the dishes, while Maria diligently cleaned the table.

"Isabel, why do you look unrested today?" Maria inquired with concern.

I sighed and replied, "I didn't sleep well last night."

Maria's curiosity was piqued as she asked, "Why? Did something happen? Did señor Emiliano come here with his mistress?"

I shook my head and explained, "No, but he actually didn't visit us today. His messenger came earlier."

Maria sighed in frustration and said, "He always does that, just leaves some cash and never bothers to visit." I felt a sense of disappointment after her remark.

Maria, not wanting to leave the matter unresolved, pressed further, "Then, what is the reason that you didn't sleep well last night?"

"There's something I want to tell you from last night at the social dancing," I said with a smile.

"Hmmm, I knew it! I knew that you were hiding something from me as you disappeared last night and I noticed that you were quite while I was telling everything at the carriage," Maria responded playfully, while I couldn't help but burst into laughter.

"Is it a man?" she added, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

"Sí, remember the captivating gentleman that everyone was talking about?" I replied.

"Oooh my, Isabel! The gentleman in the Spanish army uniform?!" Maria exclaimed, her voice filled with joy.

"Sí!" I confirmed.

"See, I told you that you would meet each other," Maria said, her eyes gleaming with satisfaction.

"Shhhhh, Mamá will hear you," I whispered, glancing around cautiously.

"What happened?" Maria asked, her curiosity piqued.

"Well, we kind of introduced ourselves," I said with a hint of hesitation in my voice.

"Huh, really?!" Maria exclaimed, clearly intrigued. "And then? Ohhh, did he ask you to dance?"

"No," I replied sadly. "I left immediately."

"Huh, but why?!" Maria asked, confusion evident in her tone.

"You know the reason, amiga," I replied, my voice tinged with sadness.

Maria sighed. "You always jump to conclusions, Isabel. What if he really likes you?"

"But what if he doesn't even know?" I countered, my voice filled with uncertainty.

"Then, allow things to just go with the flow," Maria advised gently. "We might never know what will happen if you keep pushing people away who genuinely like you, Isabel."

"I just want to finish it as early as possible to stop it from getting worse," I explained.

"But are you happy about it? Is that what you really want?" Maria asked, concern evident in her voice.

I stood in silence, unable to find the right words to respond to Maria. Her words had struck a chord within me, leaving me uncertain about whether they had truly resonated or if she was simply speaking the truth. Over time, numerous individuals had attempted but I found myself constantly pushing them away. It made me question if this pattern would persist indefinitely, if I would forever remain closed off from others.

Deep within me, there resides an overwhelming fear that consumes my thoughts and emotions. This fear stems from the apprehension of disappointing someone, should they come to know the truth about who I truly am. The mere thought of inflicting such disappointment upon another fills me with a profound sense of dread, as I am acutely aware of the potential consequences it may bring.

In my quest to shield myself from the pain that accompanies this fear, I find myself instinctively pushing people away. It is a defense mechanism I have developed, a means of self-preservation. By distancing myself, I believe I can safeguard my fragile heart from the inevitable hurt that may arise from revealing my true self.

As I reflected on Maria's advice, I couldn't help but acknowledge the validity in her words. Perhaps it was time for me to cease hastily jumping to conclusions and allow life to unfold naturally. Maybe I needed to relinquish control and accept that whatever was meant to happen would inevitably occur. Life, after all, was not a meticulously choreographed performance; it was a beautiful, unpredictable dance that required me to let go and trust in the rhythm of the universe.