Male OC x Louise Belcher | A Bob's Burgers Fanfic

⚾Torpedo⚾

I DO NOT own Bob's Burgers. This is just for entertainment purposes.

Gene was outside the restaurant, in his burger suit, trying to drum up some business.

Gene: Bob's Burgers! Fresh ground meat! Great atmosphere! (fart noise)

Bob: Gene, bring it in. Get out of that burger suit. We're going. Baseball waits for no one. (sniffs) It smells like urine. Did you pee in that?

Gene: I had to go!

Bob: I told you not to pee in it after I cleaned up from the...

Gene: I'm the only one who wears it. What's the difference?

Bob: Oh, my God.

Gene: What, you don't want to buy burgers from a guy who smells like pee? No one can place where it's coming from.

Tanner: Ew.

Louise: I can't believe you'll close the restaurant to go to a baseball game.

Bob: Louise, this isn't just a game. We bought an ad at the ballpark. That's worth closing for, right?

Linda: Oh, can't wait to see it! It's gonna be so exciting. We're famous.

At the ballpark - In the stands:

It was true that there was an ad for Bob's Burgers, but it was incredibly small. So much, that Bob had to use binoculars to see it from where they're sitting.

Tina: It looks like a hot dog wrapper's stuck in the net.

Louise: Like, a really tiny hot dog.

Bob: I did think it was gonna be a little bigger.

Tanner: It's disillusioning.

Gene: I think more people would see your ad if it was a urinal cake.

Bob: Are you kidding? I wish I could afford a urinal cake ad.

Linda: All this talk about cake is making me hungry. I'm gonna flag down the ice cream sandwich guy. Hey!

Umpire: Play ball! 

Burt: (over P.A.): Welcome to opening day of minor league baseball. Let's hear it for your Wonder Wharf Wonderdogs! Please give a big Wonderdog welcome to Phe-Nom, the Korean bunt specialist!

Tina: I never realized baseball had so much butt-touching.

Louise: That's how they communicate, Tina. It's like Braille, but with butts.

Gene: Read my butt!

Later:

Gene: (groans): I'm bored. Boredom. Boring sports.

Burt: (over P.A.): Hey, it's the seventh- inning stretch. Time for the mascot race!!

Gene: Well, hello!

Burt: (over P.A.): Please welcome the owner of the Wonderdogs, Mr. Calvin Fischoeder! Fish!

Mr. Fischoeder: (microphone): It's that time. Now cheer for your favorite mascot!

Tina: Mr. Fischoeder owns the team?

Bob: He owns the ballpark, the team, Wonder Wharf.

Louise: I'm gonna marry that man.

Bob: No, you're not.

Louise: I wanna be rich!

Tanner: (chuckles)

Mr. Fischoeder: (microphone): Don't be frightened. I have a gun! So, get set... 

POW

(fans cheering)

Gene: Where has this sport been all my life? You know, I wear the burger costume all the time. Maybe I could race in one of these races, Dad.

Bob: I bet it's impossible to get in, Gene. I'm sure you gotta know someone.

Linda: You do. It's Mr. Fischoeder, our landlord. The winner! 

Bob: Well, I can't ask a favor of a guy I've never paid rent on time to. 

Linda: You're his son, Gene. He'll ask him.

Gene: Yay!

Bob: No, I won't.

Burt: (over P.A.): Now taking the mound to pitch, former major league sensation, Torpedo Jones!

Bob: That can't be the same Torpe... (uses binoculars) Kids, that's the Torpedo Jones! I can't believe he's still playing. God, he, he must be... my age.

Louise: I speak for everyone here when I say I don't know what a Torpedo Jones is.

Bob: Let me tell you, nobody-

Gene: We don't care.

Bob: Gene, let me finish. Nobody-

Gene: That's what I was trying to prevent.