Hundreds of glowing coffins lined the walls of the vast room. A mirror floated on a pedestal at the front of the room, facing the seating that lined the opposite wall.
Several hundred freshman students stood in seven sorted groups, each headed by one upperclassman.
"Hey, does anyone know where the headmage went? He disappeared midway through the ceremony..."
"Some headmage he is..."
"Maybe he had a tummy ache!"
Just as the groups were about to file out, the doors flung open.
"I most certainly did not!"
There, in all his... 'glory', was Headmaster Crowley. In his arms, a strange cat. And standing at his side... you.
"Ah, speak of the devil." A red-headed boy, with remarkably angry eyes for someone so cute, stood as the leader of one of the groups.
"If you must know, I was searching for the new student who'd failed to show for orientation."
"Sorry..."
He turned to you with an impressively spiteful look, "You are the only one who has yet to be assigned a dorm. Step up to the Dark Mirror, and be quick about it. I'll watch your weasel."
Grim growled slightly at the name. He wasn't a weasel! You were still going with cat. Like, had these people ever seen a fucking weasel before???
Regardless, you stepped up to the mirror and stared into it. Swirling darkness - a void that felt so strangely full it could've spilled over in an instant.
A strange white mask appeared in the mirror. You felt it judge you. Those eyes... they felt cruel.
"State your name."
"Y/N."
The mirror stared at you for a long minute, as if debating. You could feel its judgement pull at your veins and flow through your blood. It was infectious. Like spiders crawling through your capillaries.
"Y/N... the nature of your soul is..."
Another moment of sickening silence...
"Unclear to me."
Oh. How... anticlimactic.
Or so you thought. Apparently not though. Everyone in the room looked absolutely shocked.
"What did you just say?"
Crowley was flabbergasted. Never, in all his years, had such a thing happened. In fact, nothing like any of this had ever happened. Never had a student escaped their gate early - whether by outside forces or not. And they had certainly never been unidentifiable by the Dark Mirror.
"...This mirror sure is a dick."
Why? Why did you never think about what you said? You couldn't have been a little less rude to the piece of glass that was going to decide your fate? Really?
Obviously, your statement was even more shocking to everyone than what the mirror had said. Who just said something like that??? Luckily though, Crowley seemed to be purposefully ignoring what you had said and was focusing on the issue at hand; that the mirror couldn't sort you.
"What did you say?" Crowley eyed the mirror curiously, his voice a mix of caution and urgency.
"I sense no magical power from this one. Soundless. Colorless. Shapeless. Utterly vacant. Therefore, no dorm would be appropriate."
That offended you.
"Well fuuuck you too, magic mirror thingy!"
You probably said that a little too loudly... Oh well. Words aren't reversible. You can't drink them back from the air and swallow them down once spat out.
"Are you suggesting the black carriage went to receive a person who possesses no magic?"
You blinked at Crowley, "...duh? I dunno about you weirdos, but I ain't got any spell slots."
Your statement caught the attention of a floating tablet off to the side of the room. The face behind its camera gave you an astonished–and admiring–look.
"B-But that's absurd! The student selection process hasn't erred once in its century of existence!"
"First time for everything, I guess."
Grim struggled in Crowley's arms, before popping free of his hold at last and shouting at full volume.
"ME! LET ME HAVE THIS STUDENT'S SEAT!"
This was beyond annoying by now.
"Not so fast, you hyperactive weasel!"
Okay, has anyone here ever seen a weasel??? Because this is obviously not one! Like, cat? Sure. Regardless of his complaints. But weasel? Not a chance in hell!
"Unlike that human, I can actually use magic! So make me a student instead! Here, see? My magic is the cat's meow!"
Really? Puns?
A spurt of flame shot from the maniacal animal's lips, nearly torching you. A red headed boy–not much taller than you–screeched for you and anyone else in the near vicinity to duck.
Sadly, one of the boys didn't make it. His ass was ablaze within seconds.
Groaning, you begrudgingly allowed yourself to care about another human for a short moment and flung off your robe, extinguishing the fire.
The only issue? It revealed yet another curveball that no one had expected. Mind you–I'm not saying you were unclothed. It's just that the clothes you were wearing were much more tight-fitting than the loosely hanging robes that previously enveloped your form.
The large room of boys stared at you like you were an A5 Wagyu steak. The stare you returned to them was equaled in intensity–if not more powerful–but its intent was far more violent than theirs.
"You're all creeps, y'know that?"
The momentary distraction was quickly removed when the group was forced to once again pay the flaming kitten their attention. Flames crawled up the walls,, and you let out what had to be the most exhausted sigh yet.
"Someone catch that blasted animal before he burns down the entire school!"
A quiet and amused conversation came from your left.
"Ugh... Can I go now?"
"Oh? I thought you fancied yourself a hunter. Go and help yourself to that plump little morsel!"
"Too much work. Do it yourself."
Wow... Lazy bitch.
The room had filled with shouting by now. Arguments and anger that all sounded like nails on a chalkboard to you.
So what did you do? You did what anyone does when they can't find good help. You fixed it yourself.
"YALL BETTER SHUT YOUR BITCH ASSES UP AND CATCH THAT FUCKING CAT BEFORE I WRING YOU OUT BY YOUR NECKS ONE. BY. ONE."
That shut them up. Mainly out of shock. But they weren't stupid enough to recognize a real threat.
And thus led to the quick capture of the flaming brat cat.
And the unknowing beginning of your collection of perverts.
Good luck.
[Words: 1056]
YOU ARE READING
Curiouser & Curiouser // Twisted Wonderland x Fem. Reader //
FanfictionY/N didn't mean for her life to go so sideways... It hadn't ever been her intention. Nor, in all honesty, had it been her fault. Having gotten tired of the dysfunctional system of her own life, she got high one night and went out for a walk, only fo...
