Chapter One

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I was the villain.

That's what they told me, anyway.

But the bad guys always said things like that, right?

They toyed with your mind, ensnared your synapses, shattered your brain into pieces and put it back together again, but incorrectly, like a puzzle piece forced into the wrong spot of the puzzle. Until the entire picture was wrong. Until the puzzle looked warped, misshapen, nothing like it was supposed to.

Until you believed their lies.

Their lies were getting to me, much as I detested to admit it. As I lay on the soft lavender mattress of my bed, arms and legs spread out, and closed my eyes, my heart pounded like I was in the middle of a presentation at school and I had just forgotten my lines.

The silence of my mind almost haunted me more than those taunting words the so-called "heroes" had uttered, looking into the camera like they were trying to look deep inside my soul.

I suddenly remembered that I was still on a phone call, and knowing my best friend, she had pinned down exactly the moment that I'd forgotten she existed and starting paying attention to my own thoughts more than her.

"You're overthinking again, Leah."

I rolled my eyes and flipped over on my back. My lips turned upwards against my will at her voice, though it was unlifelike and tinny through the phone's speakers.

"I do that a lot, Anna." I fixed the phone with my unwavering gaze as if her face would suddenly appear in front of me, like a hologram.

"Tell me what you're thinking." I could practically hear her raised eyebrows through the phone, hear the anticipation on the tip of her tongue.

"I don't even know what I'm thinking."

That was a lie. I knew exactly what I was thinking.

And I knew a few more things too. I knew that what I was going to do was right. I knew that it was what was best for me, for my remaining family, for my friends, for the world.

So why did they tell me those things? To trick me? To force me to their side?

I sighed and focused on my phone again.

"I don't want them to be hurt— because I know I'm not the only one who has suffered a loss. We've all lost something."

Anna's voice scoffed at me from the phone. "Lost what? Their freakin' pride? They'll be okay, L."

I tried to muster a smile at her joke but couldn't. My voice cracked. "All I want is for them to leave."

Silence from the phone for a moment, except for the crackling of the speaker.

I rubbed my eyes and ran a hand through my hair. "But when the news reached out to me, they said, 'We understand your perspective and we want to hear your story.' What was I supposed to say? No?"

"No!"

"No, I was supposed to say no, or no, no to the no?"

"The second thing you said!"

"I've lost track at this point." I took a deep breath and grabbed the phone, sweaty hands slipping on the rubbery purple case, absentmindedly running my fingers over the stickers on the back. "Look, Anna. This is the chance of a lifetime, a chance for the rest of our lovely little city to hear my perspective. Maybe more people than I thought will agree with me, and we could get together. I could talk, finally, about the way I felt, about what I'd gone through when my mother was killed."

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