ONE YEAR LATER
I woke up. Again. My skin was caked in sweat, my hair almost glued to my face as it drowned in the massive amount of salty water that escaped my pores. And a smile stretched across my face. It was Saturday. I started with a cold shower, soaking my skin in water and lathering soap across it until my body looked like a giant walking foam ball. I washed my hair, brushed my teeth, put on deodorant, and clothed my self. First I put on the grey button up, then the baggy, not-so-skinny-skinny jeans. Dean would love this. He always liked the way button ups looked on me, I kinda learned to too. I grabbed my note book, my pen, and my wallet before leaving the house.
I started by stopping at the diner and picking up a cheese burger to-go. Then I- walked down town to the bus station taking the 578 to the next city over where Dean's place was at.
When I walked into the gates of Green water cemetery, his place was only a short walk to the right.
"Hey." I whispered.
The wind blew through my soft, slightly wet, hair in response.
"I wrote you another letter." The wind blew again. "Look I know I haven't visited in a while, its just... I don't know... Well- Uh..." I scratched my neck, thinking about what Dean would like to hear.
"OH!" I laughed and pulled out his cheese burger setting it next to his grave stone. "I got your favorite, extra onions. Listen, ok... Um, Sammy's good. I mean he's still getting straight a's if that's what you would call good. I don't know if your dad is going to let him go to college, even though he has a full ride. He hasn't talked to me since the hospital. I don't blame him. But I know he's still doing good. I am too, I mean I got my grades up, I'm seeing Nancy, my therapist once a week, there's- there's- Well, I hope you're not mad, but there is a guy... That doesn't matter though. I miss you Dean- I fucking miss you so fucking much, some times I think about just-" A tear fell out of my eye, making a little plop on the dirt below. " Dean, it was my fault. I'll never get over that. You'll never get to grow old, or have children, or visit the worlds largest burger, because I was so selfish. I was the one who should've died. And, Dean, I sometimes don't know how i'll handle with out you, how I will breath. I miss your warm fingers on mine, I miss the smell of your breath, the way it felt on my neck, and I don't think i'll ever get that again with anyone else. I don't think I deserve that with anyone else. I- I don't know." I look at the ground.
I lay the letter I wrote for him under the cheese burger, a full ten page letter.
"I found your impala, Dean, your baby. I spent my college money getting it back and I'm giving it to Sammy, the rest of the money is in an envelope in the glove box. I know that you would have wanted your baby brother to go to college, and i'm going to make sure that happens. I love you Dean."
The wind blew again.
"I love you."
YOU ARE READING
Dinner at 3 (Destiel AU)
FanfictionCastiel is a lonely depressed 15 year old, who believes that dating before you're 18 is the worst thing a teenager can do. He's also a writer and quite the character. One night when he decides to go on one of his night walks he breaks all his own...
