My fault.

03.

Ryan
★ ★ ★

I didn't get home until 1 am that night, and dear god did I regret it.

I flopped onto my bed and instantly fell asleep.

all of a sudden my alarm was blasting in my ear. I groaned and looked at the time. It was 5:30 am.

"I'm going to kill myself I swear" I rubbed my eyes and sat up.

I went on my phone for a while. I wanted to catch up on social media but I found myself stalking Jesse's story.

once I realized that I was stalking I rolled my eyes and finally got up to shower.

I turned the shower on and turned the water on the coldest setting to wake me up.

I undressed quickly and looked at myself in the mirror for a bit.

I looked at the bags under my eyes, my messy hair, and my chapped lips, and then let out a sigh.

"I look terrible, I need to get more sleep," I said to myself with a yawn.

My shower took around 15 minutes and by that time it was 6:10 and I needed to hurry to make it to the bus.

I lost track of time while picking out an outfit and I missed the bus.

Hey, I mean at least I look good now.

Now I just need to find a ride to school. I asked about 5 of my friends and they didn't get back to me quick enough.

So I went to my last resort. Jesse.

Luckily I still had his number because I had gotten around to blocking him.

I texted him.

Ryan: Hey, I know we both hate each other and shit but today I really need a ride, and if you could help me out that'd be great.

He responded surprisingly fast, under a minute.

Jesse: yeah, meet me outside 5 minutes.

I sighed a sigh of relief when I saw his text. I really needed the ride because it's midterms today.

I quickly put my shoes on grabbed my bookbag and phone charger and headed outside where I saw Jesse's car.

He leaned over the passenger seat and opened the door for me.

I had to admit, I was surprised he did this. He's usually a dickhead, but today he decided to act like we didn't hate each other's guts.

"Thank you for the ride" I expressed before getting into his car.

"Yeah no prob ry" he uttered.

He used my nickname. It was weird to hear it from him.

It sounded the same as I remember, the way it rolled off his tongue.

I smiled to myself and started to look out the window.

He leaned over and turned the radio on.

We sat in an awkward silence.

The ride felt like a lifetime, but in reality, it was only about 5 minutes.

"Alright ry, were here" he said, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Oh..yeah thanks Jesse" I said and got out of the car.

He got out shortly after me and we parted ways.

I walked to my first class and took the mid-term for that class.

It was so tiring.

If I was being honest I wish Jesse was here like back in the day when we would pass notes after midterms.

Now all I have to do is look around the room, in my thoughts.

I hate Jesse so much, but I can't get this feeling of wanting to be around him to shake.

Yesterday I was much too rude to him.

I felt bad afterward, I didn't need to be so mean.

There was a lot I needed to fix about the way I treat him.

Whatever happened four years ago doesn't matter now.

We were fourteen and fifteen, and now we're seventeen and eighteen.

There's a lot of maturing between those ages, I think I'm holding on to a grudge that I don't need to anymore.

Maybe I'm the bad guy this time around.

I don't think he cares very much though, I don't think he wants to be friends anyway.

So I'll leave it alone, it doesn't matter I guess.

(A/n Ryan out here FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE😭)