escape , peter parker

𝟬𝟱 limerence

chapter 5 !
limerence ...

𝗬/𝗡

ON THE TRAIN ride to school, I purposefully sat in a different train car than the one I normally sit in. I don't know what to say to Peter after last night. What am I supposed to talk to him about? We're not even that close and last night I was cleaning his wounds for him. Although, I can't avoid him forever.

I came to this conclusion when I entered my second period and he was sitting down with Ned at our lab table, his elbow propped up on the surface and his head resting on the palm that was not injured. His other hand is underneath the table, which he is enclosing within his sleeve. He is wearing a blue long sleeve sweater and I assume his outfit choice was influenced by a certain issue we dealt with last night.

When he noticed me, he gave me a knowing look, and I returned it. I sat down next to Ned and Peter and I just looked at each other.

"Okay, what is going on?" Ned asked.

"Nothing." Peter and I say in unison. I smile at him in surprise. The whole situation was funny, really, it shouldn't be awkward. He chuckles.

"O-kay..." Ned says, dragging the word out in disbelief.

Mr. Watson enters the room and begins talking about the same thing we were learning yesterday. Peter uses the notes I gave him to help him understand what he's talking about.

When Mr. Watson hands out a worksheet and lets us work as a group, we all make input on the assignment and get it done pretty quickly so we're all just talking. Ned and Peter talk about some movie, and Ned cracks a joke that makes Peter laugh really hard, and I just watch him as he does, smiling. His eyes are so bright and because he is laughing so hard he moves his body, too. His hands are rubbing his face and his legs are shuffling. I start to remember last night when I was in such close proximity to him, becoming aware of the small features on his face but thinking nothing of it at the time.

When he catches his breath, he is in that state of euphoria when your chest and stomach hurt and your eyes are all teary, and for the first time I kind of realize the cute aspect of Peter Parker that I didn't notice before.

And when you notice it once, it never goes away.

₊˚ˑ༄

At lunch, I grab food from the cafeteria and head to the table that I sat at yesterday with Ned and MJ. This time, Peter is here. When I'm walking up, I wave to them, but my eyes keep getting caught on Peter. He runs his hands through his hair and his shirt lifts up a little, which causes me to divert my eyes and snap out of it. I take a seat next to MJ, hating myself silently for ever making a realization about Peter.

I would never pursue it, though. One, my father. Two, relationships scare me. I've never been in one, and dating a friend, especially one in a friend group that I'm part of, could ruin friendships forever.

They're talking about Junior Homecoming. When Peter talks about going with someone, my eyes snap up to him, and I notice he's looking at MJ. Whenever her eyes meet his while he's talking, he nervously looks away and directs his words towards Ned or me instead.

The whole lunch, I notice that Peter laughs at MJ's dark-humored commentary and surveys her when she isn't looking, and this means exactly what I think it means.

Anything I thought about him before feels wrong to have thought about now.

When lunch is over, I say a quick "see you in French" to MJ and then head to fourth period.

I can't like him like that. It would only cause me pain, especially seeing how much he likes MJ. The last time I had a crush it was miserable, and I wouldn't like to relive that.

It was in fourth grade, and we had a student assistant from one of the fifth grade classes. He was mature and treated me with such kindness. Looking back at it, he was everything I wanted my father to be, which is probably why I liked him so much. He was an escape from home, in a way.

He read to me, explained things that I didn't understand (or said I didn't understand), and constantly complimented me on my schoolwork and integrity.

He was smart, which was something rare to me—and eye catching. Whenever he used big words, I smiled so big because I understood them, and he knew I understood them, too. We were constantly paired together whenever he came in because my teacher knew our intelligence complimented each other.

I was pretty much head over heels for him, and I told this to one of my friends, and she told me that I should ask if him out if I really liked him that much. I should've known it would be a bad idea, considering he was a grade above me and my father wouldn't even approve of it. He would have to be a secret the whole time and that's never fun for anyone.

But I, blinded by how much I liked him, walked up to him one day and gave him a stuttered confession filled with sentence fillers like "um," "uh," and looking down at my hands as I fiddled with them. When I finally asked the big question, he got really awkward and started apologizing profusely, saying that I was a really cool person but he just didn't like me that way. Our friendship was now ruined forever because I couldn't keep my feelings suppressed—which is a mistake I will not be making this time.

What I didn't realize was half of my classmates were watching the whole situation and made fun of me for the next week straight. I never saw the student assistant again after that—I think he switched to a different class after the whole incident, and I don't blame him for any of it.

₊˚ˑ༄

I'm walking home from the train stop, pondering everything that has happened now that I'm at my new school. I finally fit in somewhere, I've made some new friends, Peter . . No. For someone with mind-related abilities, you'd think I could control my own pretty well.

My thoughts are interrupted by a yelp coming from the alleyway to my left. I stop immediately, looking down and cautiously moving toward the noise. A woman is struggling to keep her purse in her possession while a man is attempting to steal it.

"Look, I tried to be nice about it—" The man said while he pulled out a pocket knife, holding it pointed at the woman.

As much as I feel like I need to walk away, I can't just let this happen. My eyes flash purple as I get inside of his head, manipulating his consciousness to make him believe he is falling to his death. The woman takes advantage of this with no hesitation and runs for her life, purse in hand.

"You're going to go to the police station and turn yourself in. You're going to go to the police station and turn yourself in." I whisper, sending the message to his mind. His screaming stops and his eyes flash purple while mine go back to normal. He stands up and begins walking towards the police station like a mindless drone. When he gets there, he will explain what he did, and then he will come to again.

"How did you do that?" A voice asks fearfully behind me.

I turn around quickly and Spider-man is standing in front of me, the black eyes on his suit stretched wide.