𝐏𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐂 𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐌

𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐞

-okay just a little pre-warning, this chapter is heavy so read at your own will 🫶

- ⧗ ZARIAH PETROVA ⧗

   ZARIAH'S EYES FIXATED on the blank wall in front of her. It was late now, though she couldn't truly tell how late, having no clock inside her cell. But it had been a few hours since an agent had brought her dinner - a small meal of bread and hard cheese.

   Zariah should be headed to bed, her eyes drooping with tiredness, but her mind was far too noisy to sleep. So instead, she stared at the wall as her thoughts spiralled.

Everything Natasha Romanoff had said played over in her mind. Most of the information wasn't new, Zariah knew how she had defected, but it was odd to hear the story from her perspective.

   The way she's described the red room made it seem like an awful place. All of the things they'd done to her, had been done to Zariah too, plus even more. But it all had made her stronger. Her training had turned her into the best assassin there was. Everything they did, added to that, no matter how grim it seemed.

   Zariah swore to herself. She's just trying to get inside your head. Trying to make you forget your training and make you weak like her. You're not weak.

   Zariah swore again.

   She knew she shouldn't have spoken to her again. She should have just kept her mouth shut. But something about Natasha's words had lured it out of her. Maybe they were putting something in her food.

   Zariah smacked the side of her head. She needed to get her act together. She wasn't some weak little girl, she was a black widow assassin. They didn't crumple like this.

There's more to life than this.

The woman's words circled Zariah's head. She'd wanted to know why she cared so much, why spend so much time talking to her and not just kill her already? She supposed SHIELD wanted something from her, but why not just torture her? She'd been trained for that. She hadn't been trained for this.

Natasha Romanoff came at her with genuine concern. Zariah couldn't understand why. She hated her, had tried to kill her. Why did she not feel the same?

The taste of blood filled Zariah's mouth as she bit down hard on her tongue. She hated Natasha Romanoff for making her feel like this. For making her question her very existence. She needed to get out of here, get back to Russia and everything would be okay again. Everything would go back to normal.

Or would it?

Zariah's dream relayed in her mind. Everyone in the academy hated her, Madame B. thought of her as a failure. Why would they want her back?

But who was she without them?

Zariah hit herself again, harder than last time. She needed all of the voices in her head to shutup.

The Red Room was her home. They fed her, looked after her, trained her to be strong. She was nobody without them.

  Someone else behind the hard-shelled assassin. He let me be that someone.

   Natasha's words came back to bite once more, her voice circling in Zariah's ears. She pounded the side of her head. "Shutup!"

   She wished she'd never met the stupid fucking traitor. That she'd never taken the mission and could have stayed back home where everything was the same. Where she didn't have these voices in her head or this strange feeling in her chest. Where everything was how it always had been and she knew what she wanted.