Chapter 20

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Ella's POV:

After my talk with Stef and Lena I head back to my room. I decide to do some homework and just go to bed early. It was a long day. After doing a few hours of homework and studying, I take a quick shower and go to sleep.

"Well, we can't go see Mommy before we leave because she is still asleep, they are coming in the morning."

"I still feel like Mama and Mommy would want me to go with them." I can feel my five year old brain getting scared.

"Honey, it's okay I promise, you can trust me silly girl." He smiles and tickles my chin. I can't help, but smile. I haven't seen him much, but he is family, so I guess I can believe him. I just nod, still sad to leave Mommy and Mama.

"Can't I just say goodbye?"

"You don't want to upset Mommy and Mama do you? It will hurt their feelings if we wake them up when they are sleeping." The thought of hurting Mama and Mommy's feelings makes me sad.

"Okay," I say, grabbing his hand and walking off.

I gasp and sit up quickly. I look to the clock. It's 3am. I can't help but start crying. I try to be quiet, but I am struggling. I don't want to go to Stef and Lena again. My feelings are all over the place when it comes to them. Ugh, I don't know what to do. I realize I am super sweaty. My sheets and pillows are drenched. I can't go back to sleep like that and I can't let go of this scared feeling. Who is this person? I couldn't make out his face clearly this time. I decided to go take a shower.

The hot water feels good against my clammy body. I am trying to calm myself down as I try to think about anything else. I am not having great luck. Everything is just too much for me.

I hear the door crack open and before I can say something I hear, "Sweets?" Oh great, Stef.

"Uh, yeah?"

"Honey, are you alright in there? What is going on?"

"I am fine, I just couldn't sleep and needed to shower."

"Are you hurt or sick? Are you okay?"

"Yes, I am okay. Not hurt or sick."

She pauses for a moment, "Okay, I will let you finish."

"Night!" I say to her, hoping she will go back to sleep.

I finish my shower five minutes later. I get out and put on the fresh pajamas that I brought to the bathroom. I tend to my hair for a few moments so my curls dry well. I open the door and Stef is sitting in the hallway. I just stop walking when I see her.

"What are you doing?"

Stef stands up and walks over to me.

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay before you went to bed." She grabs my hand and tries to make eye contact.

"I am okay," I say, looking away from her eyes.

"Why did you take a shower sweetheart?"

"What, am I not allowed to shower?"

"No," Stef says calmly, "You just showered right before bed, it's 3:20 am and I can tell something is wrong."

"Nothing is wrong, but I am tired, so I am going back to sleep." I walk to my room and try to shut the door. Stef comes up and prevents me from shutting it.

"I will tuck you in." She whispers, to not wake Mariana.

"I am good" I say looking at her, not moving.

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